Thank you for specifically naming me.
I’m Shingo Lee, a columnist.
This will be a long one, but I hope you’ll bear with me.
First, I’ll explain what kind of women I consider worth cherishing and what kind I find boring, though this is highly personal. Then I’ll write about what kind of man actually cherishes me.
I want to cherish people who are humble yet have dreams and are committed to growth.
First of all, humble people deserve a great deal of respect. Everyone I’ve wanted to cherish has always been humble. What I like about humble people is that they feel more gratitude and wonder than people who are used to consuming things, and their everyday lives are full of creativity.
It’s difficult to give an example of someone who isn’t humble, but people who are accustomed to consumption tend to feel less gratitude and excitement about each individual thing.
For example, since Netflix lets you watch any number of movies for one flat fee, I think many people end up casually watching them without appreciating each one. Lately, there’s even been a lot of talk about people watching videos at double speed.
Compared with people who take the time to appreciate each film, those viewers probably experience less emotion.
The same thing happens with food, travel, experiences—everything. People who approach all these things humbly and appreciate them one by one are the kind of people I want to cherish.
Also, people who face their dreams and put in the effort run into obstacles every day, feel discouraged, and celebrate their successes. Because I can share those emotions with them, I naturally want to cherish them.
Whenever we meet, simply talking about their progress toward achieving their dreams—in other words, their growth—makes the time we spend together more wonderful than anything else.
That’s the kind of person I personally want to cherish.
Boring people are the exact opposite, especially women who put more emphasis on the “take” than the “give” in give and take.
A woman with a strong taker vibe, basically saying, “Come on, entertain me like all the other men do,” is boring.
As a character in a dating-sim game, she may be rewarding to pursue, so I can genuinely enjoy the process. But once I’ve won her over, she’s like a flavorless dried squid—there’s nothing interesting left.
Sometimes, if I manage to completely win a woman over and she becomes convenient to use, I’ll use her that way. But if she remains difficult to deal with even afterward, that’s where things end.
Of course, this is an extreme example. In reality, people and emotions are much more complicated, but I wanted to describe both ends of the spectrum.
Incidentally, I think that from a woman’s perspective, a man who cherishes her probably looks like a “loser.”
I mean a man who spends a lot of his resources—money and time—on her.
Women know very well that men have lower sexual value, so they also tend to undervalue the resources and kindness that come with it.
For example, I think a woman may value something she bought herself for 10,000 yen more highly than something a papa (a male supporter) paid 10,000 yen for her to buy. That’s what I mean.
I know this from personal experience, so I understood that I shouldn’t devote too many of my resources to a woman I cared about.
There was once a truly wonderful woman I suffered a devastating heartbreak over, and I treated her that way as well.
*Promotion: My next column will be about this heartbreak.*
She was pursuing a dream and wanted me in her life, which made me extremely happy. At one point, I continuously invested a large amount of my resources in helping her achieve that dream.
As expected, she eventually drifted away from me.
It made me realize once again that you shouldn’t give someone unlimited resources. That said, we had been together for about two years, so I suppose it was more than enough in its own way.
These days, social media is full of ordinary women who have handsome boyfriends, so women end up mistakenly believing that the man who suits them must also be a high-level man.
But in reality, finding a handsome boyfriend who genuinely cherishes you is quite difficult.
In fact, men who aren’t handsome are more likely to be sincere, kind, and willing to devote their resources to you.
Cherishing that kind of person is really the shortcut to happiness, but social media has made it even harder.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t have sex with women I find boring. I don’t want to spend my time and money being intimate with someone who doesn’t interest me. If a woman is boring in bed, I won’t see her again.
No matter the situation, I never think of women as holes, sexual outlets, or objects. At a brothel, you could say I’m paying for a sexual outlet, but even then, it isn’t the woman herself who’s the outlet—it’s the work she does as a sex worker.
For me, the difference between a woman I find boring and one I want to cherish is whether I find her interesting. I think every man has different things he considers interesting. In other words, it comes down to whether two people are compatible.
