I was really creeped out when I heard that my friend was doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) through a dating agency—especially by the men who use those services.
From my own experience and what I’ve seen around me, the people who view college students as romantic or sexual prospects are usually other college students or people around the same age, with the occasional lolicon type who seems socially awkward and unable to function in society.
When ordinary adults look at us, it’s more like, “Aww, you’re cute,” with the expression they’d use when looking at a small child. They generally don’t see us as potential romantic partners at all.
What kind of feeling makes someone want to sleep with a college student? My friend has recently started doing papa-katsu and seems to be becoming emotionally unwell. Hearing her talk about it has started to upset me too. What goes through these older men’s minds when they’re attracted to young girls?
I’m Aya, a female member.
When I was in college, I felt exactly the same way as you, the person who asked this question. I was deeply upset by rumors that a classmate in a beauty pageant was being financially supported by a company president at some lounge, or that any classmate carrying designer goods must be doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). I remember thinking, “I could never do that. I’ll never become like them.” Whenever I saw older men happily paying for college girls, I felt nauseated, as though I were looking at creatures I couldn’t possibly understand.
But after I started working, when neither my personal life nor my career was going well and I was mentally falling apart, I entered this world through a scout. Part of me also wanted to hurt myself. For better or worse, it changed my whole world… Though I suppose I was lucky not to end up with any strange papas, since men who approach working women generally aren’t into very young girls.
When you meet a kind papa (a male supporter) and receive a large allowance from him, it gives you this strange sense of accomplishment—as if you’ve conquered that world—and makes you feel recognized as a woman.
It started when I was in a bad place mentally, but through papa-katsu and working at a lounge, I met company presidents I could genuinely trust. My career began going well, and I was able to build enough wealth to live without working. My life changed, so I’m grateful. My mental health issues have completely cleared up, too.
I’m happy because I feel that the papas I’m seeing now value me for who I am, not my age. If they had been papas who were into very young girls, I think I would have fallen into an even darker place.
But this was simply a matter of luck, so I would never recommend papa-katsu to anyone. Your feelings are perfectly reasonable, so please continue living honestly and staying true to yourself. I sincerely hope women like you will help support society.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer as well.
I’ve partially revised my question.
I’m not really sure what you mean, but are you saying that you disapprove of age-gap marriages, such as Mr. Kato Cha’s?
In other words, are you saying that people should only date or marry someone their own age?
There is no law in Japan prohibiting age-gap marriages. Since it isn’t against the law, I have to say that there is something wrong with your thinking if you criticize them.
You also have the definition of “lolicon” wrong.
Originally, lolicon—short for “Lolita complex”—refers to having special feelings toward girls in their early teens or younger, based on the male protagonist’s feelings for the 12-year-old girl Lolita in the novel *Lolita* by Russian author Vladimir Nabokov.
The age ranges are generally said to be:
- Lolita complex: ages 12–15, roughly middle-school age
- Alice complex: ages 7–12, roughly upper elementary-school age
- Heidi complex: under 7, from preschoolers to lower elementary-school age
- Baby complex: ages 0 and up, from babies to young children
So since when have Japanese university students been 12 years old?
Even if you include up to age 15, someone that age still can’t be a university student, can they?
For that matter, since when did university students become little girls?
Actually, judging by this question, you seem to be the little girl here.
Could it be that an elementary-school student is pretending to be a university student and asking this question?
If that’s the case, then targeting anyone aged 15 or under would presumably be illegal.
Perhaps you’re mixing these things together in an attempt to make your argument sound convincing, but university students are not little girls, and anyone over 20 is an adult.
As for 18- and 19-year-olds, they will also be legally recognized as adults once the age of adulthood is lowered, so they’re adults too.
What exactly is wrong with adults falling in love with other adults? Why do you find it disgusting?
It’s a nuisance to have your prejudices imposed on others.
If you’re really determined to push your argument, then start by creating a law.
If such a law were passed, I could accept that your opinion truly represented the majority view.
When two adults do something together without causing trouble for anyone else, I don’t think anyone has the right to condemn them.
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I’m BB7.
Three-digit likes? I’ve never seen anything like that. It seems obvious that they must be doing something deliberately.
This is a world children can’t understand, no matter what you tell them, so you’re better off not even trying.
A dating club is a world for grown men and women to enjoy.
Children should just keep quiet and go to bed.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
As you can tell from questions like this, college students are still pretty immature, so I don’t make offers to them. But seeing college students as potential partners doesn’t make someone a lolicon. Lolitas are 12 years old.
By college age, physical development is basically complete—you’ve got nothing left but decline from here on out. Welcome to the club, haha.
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I’m in Seattle.
I think earning money is a smarter way to live than still paying off student loans into your 40s. Why don’t you try signing up and see how it goes? There’s also an A-type option that’s dinner only (no intimacy). You wouldn’t be able to keep it up anyway. Maybe you could even write your thesis about it.
You’re an adult from age 18. In the Edo period, it was around 14.
P.S. Apparently, one person can keep hitting “Like,” so I think the questioner is just clicking it 300 times.
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I’m sure that once you become a woman in your 40s or 50s, you’ll understand how they feel in many ways. When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I seemed to be popular with mature women, and I was invited out a few times, haha. But back then, I felt the same way you do and couldn’t imagine having a transactional relationship with someone.
Now that I’m approaching my 60s, I genuinely understand those feelings. There’s value in youth itself.
At the same time, I know young women don’t exactly choose to spend time with old men, so I think the system is about paying them as a token of appreciation. It isn’t free, but please think of it as volunteering or helping someone out.
P.S. It’s not worth doing if it damages your mental health.
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I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
This is kind of a difficult question to answer, but the other day I was complimenting a woman I’m seeing on her personality and things like that, and the conversation went like this:
“I’m really not that good of a person. If anything, aren’t you the really nice one, Flag Maker?”
Me: “No, I’m not exactly a good person either, considering I’m here in the first place lol.”
That’s basically what it’s like. This is a place where people like us are matched up.
I think this is probably the more presentable, polished version of this kind of relationship. We’re both making an effort to look our best. It’s the result of both sides’ efforts.
If I could use shadow cloning and had plenty of money, I could see lots of women—but there’s only one of me, and I don’t have that kind of money either.
I wish Universe would hire me as a professional papa and pay me a salary lol.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
Posts like this tend to completely set aside the poster’s own agency and shift all the blame onto the other person. No one forced the questioner to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), or even asked them to. They had the freedom to choose.
It’s no different from someone who killed another person saying, “I had no idea there’d be this much blood! I didn’t know it would be so gross! Do people normally get killed? You should’ve run away and survived! Getting killed is seriously disgusting!”
The police wouldn’t even listen to that argument.
Well, that’s an extreme comparison, but I do understand that you have all this energy you want to vent somewhere, lol. You’re really worked up, aren’t you?
Maybe they should ban UC college students altogether—but then people would complain about that too, lol.
Still, if an attractive older guy made you an offer, you’d change your tune pretty quickly, wouldn’t you?
Attractive older guy: “Are you the one who wrote this?”
Questioner: “Oh, no, not me~ There are girls like that, but I’m different. I love older men♡”
Attractive older guy: “You’re such a good girl!” *pats her head*
Questioner: “Let’s go already. I’ve always wanted to try that restaurant♡”
Attractive older guy: “Heh heh heh heh heh.”
Questioner: “Hee hee hee.”
I do think it’s kind of cute how young people can change their tune so quickly, lol. Forgiven, forgiven, lol.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
That’s an incredible number of likes!
College students are below my main age range, but I do occasionally make offers. I suppose it’s like sometimes wanting to try something new. Kids these days mature physically early, so while they’re physically grown enough, I sometimes feel they’re still children emotionally.
I’m not really sure why she became troubled, but her friend chose to get involved of her own free will. Is it really fair to place all the blame on men in their forties and fifties?
A dating club isn’t a place to find a boyfriend your own age. Being looked down on may be unavoidable, but please don’t take it out on people here.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I’ve started thinking that I should avoid making offers to female college students whenever possible.
For female college students who need papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), wouldn’t it be a problem if more papas started thinking this way?
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Is it not normal for sexually mature women around college age to be sexual objects for adult men in their 40s or 50s?
I don’t think that’s the same as being a lolicon.
Marika
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Three-digit likes?? What is going on?
My hands are starting to shake just writing this...
Your brain, memory, stamina, and skin all gradually age after peaking around the age of 20...
So I think it’s only natural to cling to that peak.
I’m Kamihikōki, a male member who used to call 18-year-old girls “old ladies” or “grandmas,” only to be called a “living fossil” by a girl approaching that age herself.
And whether you’re a man or a woman, your feelings really don’t change all that much from when you were around 20...
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