Hello.

I’ve been with quite a few virgins. I haven’t kept count, but probably just under 20. > If you have any advice on how to enjoy—or help a woman with little sexual experience enjoy—an adult relationship (intimate), I’d love to hear it. I pay close attention to her, figure out what she’s looking for, and then help that side of her grow in the direction it seems to be heading. At the same time, you need a certain boldness—basically, be willing to try all sorts of things. Try something briefly, and if you think, “Oh, this isn’t for her,” or notice that she’s uncomfortable, you pull back immediately. But if you decide she likes that direction, you go all the way with her. Women with experience generally have their likes, dislikes, and preferences pretty well established. Some may still be wrestling with desires they haven’t tried, but for virgins or near-virgins, the world of sex is completely unknown—a blank canvas, so to speak. That doesn’t mean you can color them any way you want; they often don’t even know what they’re longing for themselves. Of course, virgins have sexual desire too. This is important. They simply don’t yet know how to bring it to life. That’s why a man taking the lead should ideally have experience in a wide range of things. The more options he has in his repertoire, the better. For example, I haven’t done it much lately, but there’s a game I call “seasoning a virgin”: letting her experience every kind of erotic activity except penetration while she remains a virgin. You might take her to a swinger’s club and ask three young men who happen to be there to wash her body in the shower room, making it very clear beforehand: “She’s a virgin, so absolutely no penetration.” I’ve done it with two women, and they got incredibly wet. I’ve also asked women I was already seeing to have a threesome—or rather, to let a virgin watch real sex up close. Of course, the virgin was naked too. Afterward, she graduated from virginity while holding the other girl’s hand. There are plenty of other examples, but a first sexual experience can be painful, so it’s naturally a little frightening. The idea is to create something erotic enough to outweigh that fear and make her really want to take that step. If she has the right aptitude, she may even orgasm from penetration the very first time. I haven’t been getting any reverse offers from virgins lately. I wonder if another one will come along. I feel like I could help her graduate from virginity really skillfully now.

Age and experience don’t necessarily go hand in hand, and I think everyone differs when it comes to their sex drive and how they express it. Some women have little sexual experience but are very curious. I also believe that, for women, having more good sex and building a good relationship can gradually help them learn to enjoy it. That said, some women simply aren’t suited to it or have a low sex drive, so in those cases, I cut my losses early.

She’ll probably grow and mature after getting a boyfriend and having sex with someone she loves. I just can’t imagine a young woman being genuinely enthusiastic about doing it with an older guy. I’m a clumsy old guy myself, so I can’t turn anyone into a better lover. A starfish stays a starfish forever. In my experience, erotic women are that way from the start, so it’s quicker to look for someone else than try to “train” them.

Welcome to the papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) rabbit hole, haha. I’m looking forward to seeing you gain plenty of experience and become an answerer yourself. I understand how you feel. When Fuu first joined eight years ago, I mainly made offers to women in their early twenties or younger. These are women who only graduated high school a few years ago, being intimate with men their fathers’ age or older. So I imagine it’s pretty difficult for them to get emotionally excited. If you’re financially secure, experienced, have plenty of time, and can take on a mentoring role like Mac, one of the answerers here, I think you could help a woman who’s a virgin or inexperienced go from being passive to enjoying herself and becoming more proactive, even reaching climax. But I’ve realized that Fuu doesn’t have the money, time, or ability for that. When I get involved with women in their teens or twenties, haha, there’s an incredible, almost genetic thrill the first time—like a jolt of electricity. But from the second meeting onward, I sometimes lose interest when they lie there passively or seem unmotivated, so things usually don’t last long. The 20-year-old woman I’m currently seeing in a monthly arrangement is simply extremely beautiful, has a K-pop-idol figure, feels great because she’s very tight, and has a nice voice. She’s not very responsive overall, but she gets very wet—she probably really enjoys intimacy. However, there’s no post-intimacy cuddling during the afterglow. (With my other monthly partners, we hug and fall asleep together afterward, so the satisfaction level is lower.) I want her to give me that girlfriend feeling in the room and fulfill my need for validation, but there’s none of that at all, haha. She just looks at her phone by herself in bed, haha. She’s truly the definition of a cold, unresponsive papa-katsu woman, haha. My suggestion is this: if you want to enjoy intimacy—and papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) in general—you don’t necessarily have to fixate on women in their early twenties simply because they’re “young.” Women in their thirties or forties who take care of themselves and look great can be tighter than some younger women, respond better, and be a lot of fun. As I’ve also written in my columns, the first woman I ever had in a monthly arrangement was 19 when I made her an offer. She was kind but initially completely passive. She was cute, had a great figure, and worked part-time at a sex cabaret, eventually becoming the top earner there. She went out and had plenty of experiences, got a boyfriend, and moved in with him. Thanks to having a lot more experience, by the third year, when she was 21, she became proactive and someone who could climax—and from then on, it was amazing, haha. So Fuu’s motto when it comes to these relationships is: Other papas, boyfriends, and casual partners are all fine! I support it and even encourage living together. Let’s all help her develop early—let other men train her so Fuu can enjoy the results, haha.

I’m not sure I agree with the idea of “young women with little experience with men.” They may have less life experience, but some have had more experience with men than women in their 30s. Also, experience and how “responsive” someone is aren’t necessarily related. Some people are more sensitive, while others aren’t, and I think many women become more “seasoned” in their 30s. At the same time, some people are simply less responsive by nature, while others are naturally more so. In that sense, someone who isn’t very responsive may remain rather bland unless they’re properly guided, whereas someone naturally responsive may not seem bland even without that. So, if you enjoy helping someone develop, then go ahead and do that. But if you want to be with someone you genuinely like, I think you should keep looking until you meet that kind of person.

Yeah. If you’re young, the quickest route is to go for someone a little more dependent and emotionally vulnerable rather than fiercely independent.

I’m in my early 20s, with women around 22 or 23 being my ideal target age. At that age, they still have plenty of life experience ahead of them—not just experience with men. They’re at a stage where they’re about to experience and mature through all kinds of things. Along the way, their relationships with men, emotional connections, and physical relationships will all deepen and develop. Watching that change and process is what I find most moving and enjoyable. The extent of that change is completely different from women in their late 20s and beyond, who already have more life and working experience. Rather than thinking about what you should keep in mind, I think it really comes down to what aspects bring you joy. If you look at a young woman and think, > I want to improve this aspect, then I feel the exact opposite about women in their late 20s and older—I find them too fully formed, which makes them less interesting.

I’ve never felt that an adult relationship (intimate) with a young woman who has little experience with men was lacking in passion. The main thing I keep in mind is simply to treat her kindly. (That doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll become more forward, though.)

It really depends on the person, so this may not fully answer your question. One of my regular partners had little experience with men, and it took more than four years of seeing each other before sex really became good. On the other hand, there are girls who improved dramatically after just one or two months. For women, “feelings for their partner” seem to make up a large part of how pleasurable sex is, so I’m not sure whether technique alone can solve the issue. That said, there are masters of helping someone develop, like Mac, so I recommend reading Mac’s answers carefully. Speaking of “feelings for their partner,” my No. 3 girl is coming over soon, and we’re going to have some private time. She recently got a boyfriend she intends to marry, and she hasn’t been intimate with anyone since they got together, so tonight will be her first time since then. I’ll be observing, lol. I’d be sad if she couldn’t get in the mood at all, though. She’s usually like a flood, and she was also the one I used to see without protection—but I guess she’ll be using protection from today onward.