Do women who date men they find disgusting not feel mentally worn down? I think I’m pretty tolerant for my age, but there are some men I just can’t handle. I can smile and interact with them at the time, but when I get home, I feel genuinely miserable. Even if he’s an outstanding person with plenty of money, if I still feel like I can’t do it, I end things. I assume there are women who properly date men like that too, but how do women who can put up with a man they find physically repulsive keep themselves emotionally stable? Do women who do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) usually have boyfriends? Is it harder to stay emotionally stable if papa-katsu is all they do and they don’t have a boyfriend?

I’m Dai, a male member. I feel like having a boyfriend might actually eat away at me with guilt, though… Your mental energy can get worn down in all kinds of ways.

I’m Aya, a female member. I wonder if it feels similar to being a sex worker? A sex worker I know said that after dealing with a gross customer, she imagines counting stacks of cash. I can’t stand men with big bellies or poor hygiene, so I’ve only met pleasant papas (male supporters). That’s why I can’t really relate to what you’re describing, and I’m sorry I can’t answer your question. Oh, and I do have a regular boyfriend.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I think being in a relationship with someone you don’t click with can really wear you down. So when you say, “If I realize it’s just not going to work, I’ll end things,” I think that’s probably the best approach. There are quite a few women who keep seeing someone despite feeling it’s impossible, forcing themselves to continue for the allowance until they become worn out and emotionally unstable. You see posts like that in the Q&A section fairly often. That said, everyone has different chemistry. Your sense of compatibility isn’t something every woman will share. A man who wasn’t a good match for you might click with another woman. And vice versa: a man you feel comfortable with might seem creepy to someone else. I don’t know whether women who do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) normally have regular boyfriends. But even if someone is doing papa-katsu, having a boyfriend doesn’t necessarily make her feel more stable. A relationship with her boyfriend might help keep her grounded, or it might make her unstable.