I’ve been seeing a woman once or twice a month for about seven months.
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Every time, we meet for dinner, which costs 30,000 yen, and afterward I spend another 20,000–50,000 yen on shopping.
The total time is about two hours—one hour for dinner and one hour shopping.
She’s the first woman I’ve met through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so I’m not very familiar with the going rates. I’m wondering, though, whether this arrangement is poor value for money.
I’d appreciate hearing everyone’s opinions.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Member of another app
A meal that’s over in just an hour every time? That’s what I’m more curious about. And shopping is also limited to one hour, so everything wraps up after just two hours each time. Isn’t that way too expensive for a roller coaster?
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Speaking only for myself, I generally offer 1 for a meal (up to two hours). However, I may offer 1.5–2 if she’s a highly accomplished woman or has traveled from far away. I’m based in a regional area, so things may be different in big cities like Tokyo.
So from my perspective, getting 5–8 for two hours with no intimacy is amazing!
That said, if I were having dinner with Kasumi Arimura, I’d gladly offer around 10, so as others have said, I think it really comes down to how you feel about it.
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I think the cost-performance is really poor.
Last week, I had a first meeting with a B1-type platinum woman, and I wondered if she might be the same person as the one the asker met. She said she wanted me to take her to a high-end restaurant and shopping.
She suddenly linked arms with me on the way from the meeting spot to the restaurant, and kept dropping hints in conversation that she might consider an adult relationship once we got closer, while flashing her cleavage. It made me think, “She has absolutely no intention of having an adult relationship.”
She was trying so hard to be coy that it stopped feeling coy altogether and just put me off.
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If the arrangement offers decent value for money, then that’s good.
If you’re satisfied with the way you’re doing things, there’s no point worrying about what other people think.
People often mention the going rate, but I’ve always stuck with the amount I decided on myself, so I’ve never really paid attention to it, and it hasn’t affected me.
Since you asked for opinions, I’ll add this: given the way you’re seeing her, I personally wouldn’t pay that allowance—regardless of what kind of woman she is. That’s just my opinion, so take it for what it’s worth.
Oh, sorry—I misunderstood. You were asking whether it was good value for money.
Whether it’s worth the cost depends on how much you like the other person and what you’re looking to get out of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Without knowing how you personally value your money, it’s hard to say.
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First of all, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a going rate for allowances.
Since we’re not involved in someone else’s relationship, we can’t know whether it’s good value for them. I also think it’s tacky to weigh in on how much allowance someone else receives.
Personally, I believe an allowance should be based on whether both people involved feel satisfied with the arrangement. So if you feel the arrangement isn’t worth it, then it probably isn’t.
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In my opinion, that’s expensive for an average woman, but for someone popular enough to get flooded with offers, isn’t that about right?
You use the term “value for money,” but do you mean you’d like to pay less for two hours, or that you’d rather spend more time together without changing the amount? Which is it?
As you meet a few people, I think you’ll gradually figure out what style works for you.
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If you’re wealthy and have no other way to spend your money, and this is what you’re paying for your own happiness, then since it’s already been going on for seven months, I don’t see why you shouldn’t continue. These were the terms you agreed to seven months ago, after all.
You seem like the type to place the blame on others, so if you feel the arrangement offers good value for money, why not tell her that it’s too expensive and not worth it for her? It might be worth a try.
Let us know what happens if you do. I’m curious whether she’ll desperately try to keep you around because you’re an easy mark, or simply break things off without a fuss. lol
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Cost performance is the balance between cost and results. If you get good results without spending much, you can say it offers good value for money.
This questioner says they’re wondering whether the arrangement is poor value for money, but only they can decide whether it’s worth it.
For example, if you were dating an extremely popular celebrity—someone who earns a million yen just for appearing on one TV show—you’d be dating them for far less than a million yen, so you might consider it good value, or even unbelievably good value.
Ultimately, it comes down to how highly you value that woman. If you feel meeting her is worth that amount, then it isn’t poor value. You might even be willing to pay more.
On the other hand, if you feel it’s poor value, then that’s how it is for you.
In the end, nobody else can decide this for you, and it’s difficult for anyone else to answer whether it’s good value.
If you don’t like it, end things.
If you do, continue seeing her.
That’s all there is to it.
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