Does a four-hour first date really have to take that long, even if it’s dinner only?

I’m Kobayashi from Customer Success. Even if it’s dinner only (no intimacy), I think it’s best to set aside four hours for the appointment itself. (Some male clients do say they left after just two hours, though…)

I’m Dai, a male member. You should set aside four hours. At least, I don’t remember being told during my initial interview at the club that meals were limited to two hours. So, early on, I sometimes had dinner followed by karaoke for a total of four hours, and gave her the allowance set by the club’s rules. After being with the club for over two years and reading anonymous Q&As, I came to understand that this was simply how things worked. Now, if it doesn’t develop into an adult relationship, I usually wrap things up after about two hours with dinner only. I think some men who have just started may not really understand how this works. If you decline an adult relationship after dinner but she suggests having another drink at a nearby bar, it might be a good idea to ask, “Would there be an additional allowance for that?” However, if you handle it poorly, you may get feedback that you’re being too focused on money.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. That is technically how the club’s rules are set up. However, four hours is far too long for dinner only (no intimacy), so unless you’re planning to change venues and enjoy chatting, I think the man should be considerate and wrap things up early.

I’m Kamihikoki, a male member. I’ve had first meetings that turned into all-day dates, and I’ve even gone to a woman’s place. Since the point is to enjoy the relationship, I don’t think you should worry about the time—just don’t make any plans afterward. If you’re worried about the time, you might as well go somewhere like a sex-service establishment...

Maezawa from the President’s Office here. The four-hour timeframe originally came from using this as a guideline: Two hours for dinner + two hours for an adult relationship (intimate) = four hours. So if there’s no adult relationship and it’s dinner only, two hours should be enough. But somewhere along the way, the reasoning got twisted, even within the company, into something like: “Even with Type A, they might go out for drinks afterward as part of an adult relationship, so we need you to keep four hours open.” It’s a strange argument. Of course, at a dating club, an adult relationship involves compensation. So if you’re invited to go out for drinks after dinner, you need to discuss the allowance. The problem is that many men assume anything other than going to a hotel is free. But if you say you have to leave because you’re running out of time, it can start to feel almost like intimidation—they’ll say you were supposed to keep four hours open. So if he asks you to go for drinks after dinner, try saying something casually like: “I chose Type A, so I was expecting dinner only. I had a great time today, so please invite me again sometime.” If you can leave without any trouble, just go home. A man who keeps bringing up the four-hour thing is probably not worth dealing with, so you could be more direct: “The club told me that an adult relationship involves an allowance. I’m hoping for ¥20,000 per hour. Would that be okay?” You can blame it on the club, and of course, choose whatever amount you want. If he still wants to go for drinks, it may be better to receive the allowance in advance, since he might get drunk and then refuse to pay. If you’re going somewhere other than for drinks, you may not need to get paid upfront. However, I recommend receiving the ¥5,000–¥10,000 transportation fee required under Universe’s rules before moving on to the adult relationship. So, while I think it’s best to keep four hours open, in most cases you’ll probably be able to leave after two hours.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I think asking someone to keep four hours free is different from actually spending exactly four hours having dinner. For the record, I’ve never spent four full hours dining. My longest was about two and a half hours for a full French course.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. As with the previous question, I think it’s fine to go with whatever you feel is right. That said, I believe the club’s designated dining time is two hours. Even if the meal is still in progress, once two hours have passed, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying, “Our time is up...” and getting up to leave.