When we parted ways after narrowing down my dating options, he said, “Contact me if the opportunity comes up” and “I’ll be waiting.” But when that opportunity did arise, I assumed he was just being polite and never contacted him. Even if he truly meant it, I feel it would be somewhat rude to reach out only because things with my current partner ended and then move on to him, so in the end, I still haven’t contacted him.
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For the male members here, have you ever said something like that? If so, how would you feel if the woman contacted you again?
For the female members, have you ever been told something like that? If so, did you ever contact him again?
I’m Aya, a female member.
There have been a few people who told me to get in touch again, but I’ve never been the one to reach out first.
The other day, a papa (a male supporter) I used to see contacted me, and we’re going to meet again soon for the first time in about two years. He was someone I really trusted, so I felt like seeing him again—but that doesn’t happen very often.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
Don’t overthink it—just reach out. If she’s not interested, she won’t reply. That’s all there is to it. On the other hand, if there’s any potential, she’ll respond. I don’t know what the odds are, but they’re not zero, right? If you don’t take action, though, the odds are zero. It’s really that simple.
What matters is the message itself, so give it some serious thought. In my case, I felt I had a better response rate when I was straightforward rather than trying to be clever. But it probably depends on your personality, so I think you need to experiment and find what works for you.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I don’t keep in touch with women I’ve stopped seeing because we parted ways or gradually lost contact.
With women I might see again, I’ll stay in touch about once or twice a year. That said, there isn’t anyone I’ve actually met again.
I don’t really see the point in meeting someone I’m not interested in.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I completely understand feeling that way. I also feel like it would be rude.
But maybe I’m the only one thinking that deeply about it, while she’s actually looking at the allowance—not me. In the end, what is it? I reflected that maybe I’m just being overly self-conscious.
So, conveniently, a woman I once thought I’d say goodbye to contacted me on LINE, and I’m going to see her for the first time in a while next week. I’m thinking I’ll be a little more transactional about it, stop trying to look cool, and ask her for something a bit more intimate than before.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
> I feel like it would be somewhat rude, so in the end I haven’t been able to contact him.
If that’s how you feel, then it’s probably best to consider the relationship over.
That said, even couples sometimes get back together after breaking up. If you were happy to hear from him, I think it would be perfectly fine to resume the relationship.
Based on your reaction, though, it sounds like you can’t bring yourself to contact him because the relationship is already over.
So I don’t think you need to force yourselves to rekindle it.
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