I found out that the girl I have on a monthly arrangement and provide with an apartment quit Universe, but is secretly doing papa-katsu through an app. I’m not sure how to handle it. I considered her my No. 1 and thought I had treated her well. She’s still registered with Universe, but I haven’t made any offers. If I ask her why she’s doing this, will it ruin our relationship? I’d appreciate your advice.

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here. Thank you for your question. I imagine you feel betrayed because you trusted her. But if you still want to continue seeing her, I think it’s best to say nothing and carry on as before. Of course, if your feelings have cooled, there’s nothing you can do about that. Ultimately, though, your own appeal also plays a role. And by appeal, I don’t just mean your qualities as a person—it likely includes the allowance you provide as well. If the allowance isn’t enough, she may turn to apps too, and if she feels lonely, she may want to see other men. Even if you think you’re offering a fairly substantial allowance, she may still have complaints that she simply hasn’t voiced.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. Could it be that you tried to keep her close by offering her an apartment before you’d built enough trust? In other words, maybe you tried to bind her to you with money while the relationship was still lacking in trust. Sorry if I’ve got that wrong. I do agree that it’s strange for the person paying to be the one walking on eggshells, and that the woman who broke the promise is in the wrong. Still, I think it’s probably best not to say that outright. The straightforward approach would be to treat her so well that she feels guilty. Or, alternatively, you could deliberately respond in a spiteful way—just enough to clear up those lingering feelings of frustration toward her.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. Wow, that’s wonderful! Your approach to dating is pretty much the same as mine（笑） Though I only have one partner. In this case, I think it comes down to what terms were set when you offered her the apartment. If she’s violated those terms, then I’d call it the end of the arrangement and find a new partner. That said, I never actually told her she couldn’t date other people（笑） I just tell her, “You’re young, so having a different boyfriend every day is fine. But papa-katsu guys are often younger and better-looking than me, and many of them have money too, so there’s a good chance you could end up seeing someone different every day. That would put me at risk, so that’s not okay…” It seems like my partner isn’t seeing anyone else—any other papas—but maybe I simply don’t know about it.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. If you’re No. 1, that must be a shock. But I wonder whether you’re also her No. 1—or her one and only. It’s understandable to be worried. Still, the fact that she’s hiding it from you and won’t talk about it suggests that your relationship isn’t in a very good place. If you’ve built a relationship of trust over time, try asking her. It may turn out to be a misunderstanding, and she may give you an answer that explains everything. On the other hand, the relationship could also crumble completely. Rather than leaving things as they are with your trust already damaged, you may feel better after asking her directly. You should also ask yourself what you really want: Is it enough for the relationship to continue, or do you want to build a genuine relationship of trust? P.S. It’s not so much the wording as the fact that she’s being given an apartment. At that point, she’s already deeply involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so chances are she’s active with supporters other than on Universe Club as well. Next time, I think you’d be better off choosing someone who would refuse an apartment—or better yet, someone with whom that kind of offer wouldn’t even come up. Just like someone can receive multiple designer bags, it’s also possible for her to be given the same apartment by multiple papas unless they sign the contract together as guarantors.

I’m Kazu, a male member. She may want a higher allowance, feel uneasy relying solely on you in case you cut things off, or be looking for a better papa because she’s forcing herself to meet you. In short, she probably has some kind of dissatisfaction or insecurity. If you’re her No. 1, that means you have other partners too, right? From her perspective, she may be thinking, “What’s wrong with it when you’re seeing other people as well?” Even if you ask her, you have very few options besides increasing her allowance without changing how often you meet. So I think it’s better to pretend you don’t know. If you really want to do something, ask what she’s dissatisfied with about seeing you and try to improve the relationship.

I’m in Seattle. If you really want exclusivity, have her sign an agreement and offer a much higher allowance. If that’s not possible, all you can do is turn a blind eye.