A question for Kamihikōki-san.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here. Thanks for your question. If your manners aren’t up to par—for example, if you use your phone during dinner—you may get complaints from men and receive a lower rating. Naturally, you’ll learn not to do those things, and that’s the right approach with 90% of men. But there are some people who are different. I don’t think you need to worry about it that much.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. From a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) perspective, I think the questioner is probably perfect too. You have multiple papas, and you’re meeting your overall allowance target. On the other hand, some women spend an entire day—12 hours or more—enjoying themselves on a first date, regardless of the allowance. If someone is experienced with compensated dating, even six or seven hours on the first day would feel long. They’d discuss the allowance and wrap things up neatly after three or four hours. Even with a romantic partner or a beautiful woman met through a club, once you become close, she’ll use her phone around you, meet you without makeup or even in sweatpants, won’t smile constantly, won’t stare at you all the time, and will head home soon after saying goodbye. She also won’t necessarily send a thank-you LINE message every time, except on special occasions. From the perspective of men looking for a natural relationship, a “perfect” woman may be enjoyable to spend time with, but she won’t necessarily become someone they’re genuinely interested in. They may simply enjoy those few hours of dating and try to savor her perfection during that brief time. That said, her scheduling is also perfect, so she keeps arranging the next appointment smoothly—sometimes even before you’ve met for the current one. You may find yourself thinking, “Wait, aren’t we meeting constantly?” It can actually become a little overwhelming. So, to answer the question: > Which one would you be most willing to forgive her for not being good at? It’s okay if she isn’t good at any of them. What matters most is whether she seems to be enjoying herself. That’s something you can’t fake. Does she look like she’s having fun? Does she look happy? Is she genuinely pleased? Is she being herself? More than having an enjoyable conversation, it’s about whether she seems like she’s enjoying it and feeling happy. Whether her reactions are genuine enough to make you feel happy too—that’s the key. This is difficult if you’re used to papa-katsu. Haven’t you, for example, been taken to a nice restaurant before by another papa? As you become more accustomed to papa-katsu, your standards for luxury keep rising, and it becomes harder to feel genuinely amazed. Finally, thank you to the questioner for mentioning my name in a question that was, thankfully, a positive one. Since it was a heartwarming question rather than one from a flag-maker, I was relieved—so thank you for that. I’m also grateful to everyone who gave such clear and helpful answers. I’d be happy and interested to hear responses from others as well. P.S. If I had to choose just one thing I’d want her to be good at: I don’t mind if there are several days between our usual LINE messages, but when a reply is needed about an appointment or something similar, it’s better if she responds quickly. Normally, I’m fine waiting a day or two for a reply, but if I ask her something, I’d like her to respond within a minute or at least within a few hours.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. This is just my personal impression, but it feels like something happened to Kamihikōki-san, and they’ve become Buddha-like—achieving enlightenment. So at this point, they’re looking at things from a completely different perspective than the rest of us. I understand the discomfort the questioner is feeling. I really do. But even if you bring it up, it won’t make any difference in the presence of “Buddha.” I imagine we’ll be getting that sort of Buddha-like answer. And now, here is Kamihikōki-san’s response. Thank you in advance. m(_ _)m

I’m in Seattle. I prefer people who speak casually. The people I’ve been seeing for several years all talk to me that way. Also, it’s more fun to look at our phones together and use what we find as conversation topics.

Sorry to jump in even though I’m not Paper Airplane, but I’ve always felt the same way. I’m Kazu, a male member. Not touching your smartphone—that was something that felt strange to me from my very first offer. I agree that a woman using her phone while you’re eating together comes across badly, but I also find it odd when she won’t even Google something to jog her memory if a topic comes up that she can’t remember during a conversation. Incidentally, that woman from my first offer now casually plays with her phone right in front of me. She said she’d lost her iPhone, so I gave her a new one as a present. She was thrilled that it had the new camera bump and 512GB of storage, and spent over an hour of our date fiddling with it to transfer everything. Also, if your phone receives a notification in front of someone you’re close to, I think most people would at least quickly check who it’s from and what it says. Maybe it’s because I run a business, but I’m always prepared for the possibility of an urgent message. Whenever my phone gets a notification, I feel like I need to check whether it’s something urgent. So when a woman’s phone is vibrating, I find myself wondering on her behalf whether she shouldn’t check what it is. That’s why, when a woman doesn’t touch her phone at all, I still feel like she’s keeping me at a distance. I only behave that way when I’m around someone considerably senior to me. If I’m being kept at that kind of distance, then, borrowing Paper Airplane’s words, I can’t completely fall head over heels… This may be beside the point, but I don’t usually send thank-you LINE messages myself. In fact, I think a guy who’s that attentive is kind of creepy. So I’m happy when a woman sends me a thank-you message—it feels feminine. That said, if it’s too polite, I’m not sure how to respond, while if it’s too curt, I sometimes feel like it’s just part of her routine. I’m a troublesome guy, aren’t I? (笑)