I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this one too.
Thank you for your question.
It’s probably best not to meet someone who makes you feel uneasy from the very beginning. I think our intuition turns out to be right more often than we realize.
Since this is an email date, you’d think he could simply enjoy exchanging messages until you both feel comfortable. If he can’t do that, then, as you suspect, it does make me wonder whether he’s trying to meet you while skimping on the offer fee.
Even through email, if you can sense that he’s considerate of you, I don’t think a woman would feel uneasy when he suggests meeting.
As for this particular man, I think he’s probably that type, so it may be best to respond according to his approach.
In other words, handle it much like you would on an app.
Specifically, ask about the terms by email before meeting.
That’s all.
The fact that you feel uneasy may mean you’d prefer to have dinner and get to know each other first.
So you could set terms such as: on the first day, it’s a dinner-only date, the 10,000-yen date fee is paid upfront as soon as you meet, and the date lasts no more than two hours.
If he breaks the agreement on the day despite those terms being settled, then even if he claims it’s “free dating,” sending feedback after the date will let the club know what kind of man he is.
If he repeats this behavior, the club may eventually consider him an ungentlemanly male member and decide that it will be difficult to introduce him to anyone in the future.
That said, I’m only suggesting this because he’s the type of man who suddenly asks to meet.
Ideally, he would pay the usual 5,000–10,000 yen, just as the club rules require, without you having to say anything.
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
> It seems the fact that this isn’t a first meeting, so she might not even receive transportation money, is making her feel even more uneasy.
I understand how she feels.
That said, if you look at it as an opportunity, it might be worth meeting her.
Also, while it isn’t exactly a problem, it might be a good idea to send the club a post-date survey. Men know that, unlike on an app, they’re being checked in various ways, so I doubt he would do anything that could jeopardize his chances of receiving offers in the future.
So, how did it turn out?
I’m looking forward to hearing about it（笑）
I’m Kamihikoki, a male member who believes people are fundamentally good.
The advantage of a letter date is that you can start communicating right away, either the same day you make an offer or the next day. You can also settle on a date more quickly than with a regular setup or online arrangement by discussing the schedule and venue.
In the previous Q&A, many people said to decide on the date as soon as possible, but I think the reasoning from the man’s perspective is that he wants to meet her quickly and give her the allowance sooner since it isn’t being handled through letters.
I also feel bad making a woman go through unnecessary back-and-forth messages. I think men are trying to make sure she can receive her allowance quickly, without making her feel like it’s too much effort or a hassle.
> I suppose it means he was trying to save on the setup fee, and even if you meet someone that stingy, it won’t be a first date through the regular setup, so you might not even receive transportation money.
If that’s how you feel and you don’t want to meet him, you don’t have to.
On the other hand, if you look at it positively, he might make it up to you by being more generous—perhaps even paying enough to make it work when you otherwise would have parted ways because you couldn’t agree on the allowance.
Taking a chance isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Also, when online arrangements first started—probably before Kazu joined—women didn’t receive gifts. I think that was actually better in that respect.
Women who wouldn’t accept an arrangement without a gift simply wouldn’t accept it. In that sense, I think letter dates are closer to how things were originally intended to be.
In any case, you can probably tell from the tone of the messages whether the man you’re dealing with is trustworthy.
If he leaves the woman feeling confused, that’s a big cross mark—does that mean he fails?
Being able to make that judgment early is another advantage, since it prevents wasted time.
