I’m the person who asked the earlier question.

I edited out the parts that seemed to be opinions and left the parts that seemed to be questions.

Like Date◎Yume, I’m not under the illusion that I’m pursuing a romantic relationship either. I dislike that kind of emotional game, so I use a dating club where the allowance serves as a safeguard for both parties. I think things work best at a comfortable distance—more like close friends who enjoy spending time together. Just as with hostesses, if you want to keep someone interested intensely for a short period, playing on romantic feelings may work. But it usually won’t last long. Experienced hostesses also seem to steer their relationships with customers away from romance and toward something more like friendship or being casual companions. Especially at a dating club, getting involved romantically can lead to serious conflict when things fall apart, so I think it’s better to avoid it.

An allowance-based relationship can be difficult. At the very least, both people need to enjoy seeing each other and feel that they’re gaining something from the relationship. Unless the man feels, “I don’t mind giving her an allowance,” I don’t think the relationship will last. Was there really nothing you enjoyed about spending time with your papa, or anything that benefited you personally? In my case, we’re quite far apart in age, so I don’t have romantic feelings for her. I just feel comfortable when we’re together. This may be only my opinion, but I don’t think there’s any need to make her fall in love with me. As long as we’re close and get along well, that’s enough.

There’s no need to be pessimistic about your situation. Even if you’re not in an actual relationship, you can still say that you’re participating properly. I think it’s fine as long as you’re able to live in a way that suits your own mindset and adaptability. A woman with the mindset you describe would probably reject someone like me without even considering me. Why? Because she’d likely complain: “My allowance is lower than what other people offer, the time commitment is much longer, and you never even discuss the allowance or set a clear amount. I kept seeing you because our dates were fulfilling and helped me unwind, but…” And then we’d simply part ways. People can only live in ways that suit them—or rather, the life that suits them is usually the better choice. Since you can only think in terms of establishing the conditions first (the reward never comes first), to put it bluntly: It’s only natural that the only men who approach you are those who’ve adapted to an independent escort-service mindset. I think pursuing this as a transactional relationship is probably the path that will make you happiest. If there is any possibility, it lies not in demanding things from the other person, but in changing your own actions and behavior first.