I’m an office worker, but to achieve my goals, I’m seeing one person on a monthly arrangement and two on a pay-per-meeting basis.
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These are adult relationships.
Things have been good with everyone, but
The person closest to me in age, who gives me ¥40,000 for an adult relationship each time,
contacts me often and asks to see me a lot, so I feel like we’re getting quite close.
After three months, he invited me out for dinner only (no intimacy) for the first time, without an allowance.
I don’t mind at all, but I’m worried he might start asking to see me without giving me an allowance.
Is there a good way to phrase my feelings? Or should I just end things cleanly?
#papa-katsu #allowance
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Member of another dating club
Since she isn’t your girlfriend, you’d at least want her transportation costs covered, right?
Even for dinner only, I’m the type who gives an allowance, so I guess people have all kinds of perspectives. I see.
Either way, I’ll still give her one.
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When you’re invited out for dinner only, with no allowance offered, say this as you’re leaving:
“I’m a little short this month… Even just a little would help…”
Unless you see each other frequently, I’d say you can probably get about half of what you usually receive on a pay-per-meeting basis.
If it’s not enough, just say, “A little more, please!” and go from there…
Don’t think of dating as strictly business—have some fun and enjoy the relationship, too.
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Even for a dinner date, there’s no allowance? At least having your transportation covered would be nice, right?
You’re leaving work early or making time to go see him, and while he does treat you to dinner, it sounds like you’re thinking, “It’s not like I’m particularly craving the food anyway.”
If he were exactly your type, you might still enjoy spending time together—even without an allowance, just wandering around a variety shop after dinner. But since you don’t seem to want to meet him without an allowance, I think it’s better not to force yourself.
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When we’re meeting for dinner only, I don’t think there’s any need to discuss an allowance.
If I’m worried about the allowance with someone, I simply won’t meet her for dinner only—or I’ll end things.
If she brought up the allowance, I’d stop seeing her. Actually, I’ve never had a girl bring it up.
If neither of us is concerned about the allowance, don’t we meet because we both want to spend time together, even if it’s just dinner?
An adult relationship (intimate) is a completely separate matter, though.
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