I have a papa (a male supporter) who contacts me frequently even when we’re not seeing each other, but I want to think about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as little as possible when I’m off, so I’m considering reducing how often we communicate.

We originally contacted each other about three times a week, but when we talked about what kind of boyfriend I’d like, I said, “Someone who stays in touch often and makes me feel secure even when we’re not together.” Maybe because of that, he started contacting me even more. We’re close, and it seems he feels some kind of emotional connection with me—not just sexual desire—almost as if we’re dating. But a real boyfriend and a papa (a male supporter) aren’t the same thing, so as I mentioned, I don’t want to keep in touch even when I’m at home and off the clock. I also feel as though he increased the frequency of his messages to match what I said, and every time he contacts me, I feel guilty. So I’m thinking of telling him that he doesn’t need to contact me so often anymore. (I actually don’t want to stay in touch at all anymore…) I’m thinking of hiding the fact that I don’t want to communicate when I’m off and saying, “I said I liked boyfriends who contact me often, but you don’t have to push yourself to message me so much.” Somehow, though, that doesn’t feel like the best way to put it. How should I express this to him? Sorry this got so long, but I’d really appreciate your advice. Thank you.