My relationship type is B.
I’ve received three offers within four days of registering. I’m not in Tokyo, but I do live in an urban area.
I expect the subject of an allowance to come up as we move forward, and I’d like to know how to negotiate or turn someone down.
If I’m happy with 50, and he offers 50, that would be easy. But if I feel I could only continue seeing someone for 100, and he offers 50, should I just tell him directly on the spot, “I’m hoping for 100, so I don’t think this will work”?
I don’t feel confident enough to say that...
Please share how you turn someone down—or how you’ve been turned down.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Men who make you an offer during your first week are likely to be exactly their type, since they liked you enough to make an offer without hesitation. There’s also a good chance they’ll want to continue seeing you.
I hope it turns into a valuable connection.
If he’s a Type B, you don’t have to move things forward on the first day, so if you want to turn him down, it’s easy enough—just stop contacting him.
Also, with Type B arrangements, most girls aren’t able to name an allowance amount, so it may be better not to give a specific figure.
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If you’re not comfortable with him, you can simply say no.
Since it’s a relationship by mutual choice, you need to be clear about your terms. Otherwise, he may take advantage of you for free and then run off saying, “I’ll transfer the money next time.”
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> When you think you could date someone for 10, but they offer 5
This is a very tricky situation.
It’s probably best to turn them down, but if you do that every time, you may end up rejecting everyone and not dating anyone at all. Also, as you continue seeing someone, you may gradually come to realize that they’re actually a good person.
With that in mind, if a man offers 5, it might be a good idea not to give him a definite answer right away. You could say something like, “I’m still not sure, so would it be okay if I took some time to think about it?”
You could decide what to do after dating four people, or wait to see what offers you receive afterward before making a decision.
If you feel that someone is absolutely not for you, it’s best to turn them down. But rather than answering on the spot, you could wait until you get home and message them something like, “I’m sorry, but after thinking about it, I don’t think I can pursue an arrangement with you.”
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I think the advantage of Type B is that you don’t have to decide on the spot.
If he said right then, “So, 50,000 next time, okay?” and I felt that wouldn’t work for me, I’d probably say, “Okay,” in the moment, then gradually dodge the next date… I don’t think I could bring myself to ask for more money.
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If you’re a Type B, I think it’s fine to say, “I’ll think about it,” if they bring it up on the first day. If you don’t make plans to meet a second time, that’s enough to turn them down.
If they bring it up on the second meeting, you can simply say, “I’m sorry, but no,” and decline. If they ask why, you could say something like, “I’m looking for ◯,” or whatever applies to you. If even that feels difficult to say, just keep making it clear that you’re declining.
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