Not expecting anything ≒ not being able to trust them.
For example, expecting my boyfriend not to cheat means trusting him.
But he cheats. If you trust him, you lose, right?
What does it actually mean not to have expectations?
I’m Dai, a male member.
It’s sad to think that you shouldn’t expect anything from the other person.
The idea that “expecting your boyfriend not to cheat means trusting him—but he’ll cheat anyway” simply means that the boyfriends you’ve had were disappointing men.
I’ve never cheated when I had a girlfriend, including my ex-wife. Men like that do exist.
My current dating-club activities are just for fun, so I enjoy spending time with several women. I’ve never told any of them that I wanted them to see only me.
If I were to have a one-on-one relationship with one of them, I wouldn’t cheat.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I agree with Kamihikōki. Rather than expecting something from others, I think it’s better to act in a way that makes them expect something from you. That means giving something to others.
There’s no point in expecting someone not to cheat. You can’t control other people’s feelings.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I think it’s fine to leave things as they are. Eventually, when someone who’s truly compatible with you comes along, you’ll naturally stop feeling suspicious.
But if you want to get out of that mindset right away, try being in a relationship where you don’t particularly like the other person, but they’re completely head over heels for you.
Getting a boyfriend who would never even think of cheating can be good practice for learning to trust someone. I really recommend it.
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Not expecting anything means giving.
If you keep giving and giving, even without expecting anything, you’ll eventually receive more than you expected in return.
Those who expect something first have sown no seeds, so nothing will grow—and in the end, nothing will come back to them.
—Paper Airplane
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