If she’s never invited me on a date even once, does that mean she has other guys and doesn’t really care whether she sees me or not? Or is she just holding back because of the nature of this relationship? I hope that’s all it is.
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Has anyone been in a long-term arrangement where the other person never once asked them out?
I’m Nana Ayase☆
I think there are basically two reasons: either she doesn’t contact him because she doesn’t feel the need to meet, or she’s trying not to interfere with his work.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
When I was in elementary school, I worried about the same thing: “I’m always the one asking my friends to hang out. Do they not really consider me a friend?”
A grown man should just quietly match the woman’s attitude and pace. Whether she reaches out to you or waits for you to contact her, it’s basically the same either way. Nothing changes.
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It sounds like she finds it pretty bothersome.
Normally, the woman would reach out with several possible dates, eager to meet again and again.
Paper Airplane
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I think it depends more on the pace of the relationship than on whether it’s long-term.
For example, since I make it clear that I generally meet about once a month, most of the women I see tend to wait for me to get in touch.
If I don’t invite them out even after about a month has passed, they’ll message me with something like, “Have you been busy lately?”
But if you’re in a relationship where you can meet as often as you like, and the woman never invites you out, then unfortunately, it may be that she isn’t all that interested…
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If you’re always the one inviting him, then that’s probably just his pattern, so I don’t think you need to worry. It’s not like he’s been leaving your invitations on read (or unread), brushing you off, or stopped meeting you.
Marika
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I’m Aya, a female member.
If she really wanted to meet, I think she’d take the initiative and invite him herself.
Actually, with the papas I’m close to, we usually end up talking about when to meet next before the day is over. So if you’ve been seeing each other for a long time and that conversation never comes up… her feelings may be a little lukewarm.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I feel a little bad saying this, but I’ve never experienced not being invited out. Usually, while we’re together, I’m asked when I’ll be free next, or I get a LINE message asking about my availability for the following week.
Hopefully, the reason they don’t invite you is simply that they’re being considerate.
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