I have a date planned with my papa the day after tomorrow, but my period started much earlier than expected. In this situation, should I apologize and:
① Tell him I’m on my period and ask to reschedule
② Ask to reschedule without telling him I’m on my period
③ Ask if he’d be okay with just having dinner?
Which of these would be best?
I’d be happy if he’d still meet me just for dinner, even with Transportation Fee 1, but would it be difficult to turn down that kind of suggestion?
With this papa, we usually have dinner and then go to a hotel, and we’ve never met for dinner only (no intimacy).
Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
I don’t understand the idea that you should apologize when your period starts. Why would you need to apologize?
I think you should simply tell him that your period came earlier than expected and leave it up to him to decide what to do.
If your period is so heavy that you can’t even eat, then you probably can’t leave the decision entirely up to him. But if you’ve already met several times, I assume you’ve told him before that you have heavy periods.
So even if that day’s date gets canceled, it should just be a matter of saying, “It can’t be helped.”
If you hadn’t told him before that your periods are heavy and you can’t even eat, then I can understand apologizing because the date ended up being canceled. Even then, though, it seems like just another example of the Japanese custom of apologizing for something that isn’t your fault.
> I’d be happy if he would still meet me, even if it were just dinner for ¥10,000 in transportation money.
Here, rather than being greedy, I think it’s best to leave the decision up to him.
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
Tell your papa (a male supporter) points ① and ③, then leave the decision up to him.
Please contact him right away. Otherwise, you may end up wasting the cancellation fee if you need to reschedule. And if it’s an important restaurant, canceling the day before or the day of the reservation can cause trouble for them, so be sure to let them know as early as possible.
If he’s an important papa (a male supporter) you don’t want to lose, I think you should decide for yourself whether to mention allowance 1.
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“I got my period earlier than expected. I’m sorry m(｡>__<｡)m
But I’d still love to see you, so would you like to have a meal together? I’m totally fine without an allowance.”
I think that would be your best bet.
If your papa (male supporter) is kind, he might even give you 10,000 yen for transportation.
On the other hand, I wouldn’t recommend saying, “Could I have 10,000 yen?”
It’s not your fault, but your papa is even less at fault. So, turn this setback into an opportunity: give up the 10,000 yen and win his sympathy.
—A loser guy
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I’m Dai, a male member.
After explaining point ①, I think the best approach would be to say, “I’d be happy if you’d meet me for dinner only, and I’m fine with an allowance of just 1 for transportation.”
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Having your period is completely normal, and since the questioner hasn’t done anything wrong, I don’t think there’s any need to apologize.
Personally, I’d prefer being offered option ①, along with option ③ phrased like, “I’d still be happy to meet—even just for dinner, with 1 for transportation.”
When the period of a woman I’m seeing regularly is delayed, she lets me know, but we still meet. I give her the allowance for an adult relationship, and she satisfies me orally.
She was probably counting on the allowance, while I’d rather not spoil her too much by paying the allowance for dinner only if I can avoid it.
That said, I think it depends on how difficult her periods are, as well as the man’s preferences and desires, so the safest option may be to suggest only ①.
As for ②, a man who hasn’t been told the reason might feel that his plans with you are being taken lightly, so I think it would be better to avoid it.
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