I’m Fuu, a columnist.
If you’re okay with ending things, why not take a shot and ask for the gift anyway?
Personally, even if we’re in an adult relationship (intimate), I’d be put off by such a direct request for a present.
I’d think, “I’m already giving you an allowance—are you trying to get even more out of me?”
I’d be willing to do it if she said, “Could you buy me that instead of my allowance?” though…
Deep kissing before an adult date is completely out of the question. If it were me, I wouldn’t even let him touch me. Absolutely no physical contact.
You strike me as the KING OF Unpopular Papas—and not exactly the brightest, either. I’m guessing you’re probably a “business owner” who runs a food stall. And apparently, just one location.
If you’re going on a date with him, maybe put a Band-Aid over your lips to make your intentions clear:
“If you kiss me, I’ll kill you.”
By the way, the 1 is for transportation, right? So that basically means there’s no allowance at all.
I think it would be wise to turn him into a dinner-only papa with no kissing.
But you probably asked this knowing exactly what kind of answers you’d get. People who aren’t involved can say whatever they want, right… Sorry.
—Loser♂
> I get 10,000 yen each time for dinner.
You might as well end things with him right away... It sounds like this has been going on for quite a while, and if there are no gifts or surprises either.
I could understand 30,000 yen for an adult relationship, but I can’t understand getting just 10,000 yen for dinner every time at your age.
—Paper Airplane
I’m Taro, a male member.
I read your previous question and the answers as well, and if you don’t like this man, I think you should end things sooner rather than later. You’re both just wasting your time.
I think he’s looking for an emotional connection. In other words, he wants someone who isn’t thinking in terms of “how much for a deep kiss?” or “how much if I keep Christmas free for you?” At the same time, he’s probably carefully trying to determine whether you’re that kind of person or not. So when you say things like, “Since it’s Christmas, I want a Hermès ●ag,” or “I’d like a Tiffany Open Heart ●ecklace for Christmas,” he probably just elegantly ignores it. He may be writing off those ulterior motives as youthful indiscretions while thinking about all sorts of bothersome things, like how to make you fall for him. A 60-something business owner who’s been divorced? I can easily imagine him going that far.
Even if a woman tries to play the hostess game, she probably won’t get much out of it. Meanwhile, the man is likely watching women’s reactions closely, updating his estimate of his chances, and separately paying introduction fees to develop potential candidates. I doubt you think this man is completely smitten with you, but if you describe specifically what’s going on, it may make the situation easier to understand.
If you like him, that’s different. But if you don’t, then he’s nothing more than a troublesome client. If you have no choice but to rely on him, you should be ashamed of your own lack of capability. You should aim to become more attractive and gain more offers—in other words, more options. To truly commit to that, I think you should end your current relationship.
