I’m wondering what would be a good way to invite a man to meet again.
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I’ve already left the club, but while I was registered, a long-distance papa (a male supporter) used to come see me regularly. After COVID started spreading, he stopped coming to see me… Every now and then, we exchanged a couple of LINE messages, like “How have you been?” or “Aren’t you coming this way?” But eventually we stopped contacting each other altogether, and it’s been nearly a year.
Now I’m planning a trip with a friend, and our destination happens to be the town where that papa used to live, so I’m considering getting in touch with him again…
Of course, he probably has another woman in his life now, but he was a kind, wonderful papa, and I’ve been assuming that we drifted apart back then because of COVID. Now that things are starting to settle down, I can’t help wondering whether we might be able to resume our relationship.
What could I say to him that might make him willing to meet me? What do you think?
Should I assume that we drifted apart not because of COVID, but because he wasn’t attracted to me, and that contacting him now would be pointless?
I’m Aya, a female member.
“Hi, it’s been a while! This is ○○.”
— Start by introducing yourself, since he may not remember you.
“How have you been, ○○? I’m still working in ○○ and doing ××, as usual.
I’ll be traveling near where you live soon, so I thought it would be nice to see you again after all this time, and wanted to reach out ^ ^”
Something like that, I think. You probably don’t need to go out of your way to mention that you’re traveling with a friend. That way, he won’t think, “Then I can’t have her stay over anyway.”
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, with my answer as well.
I think it would be fine to send a straightforward message along the lines of:
“I’m going to ○○ City with a female friend soon. If you’re available, would you like to meet up while I’m there? I’d be happy if we could go on a date like we used to.”
Since we don’t know why you drifted apart, there’s a chance they won’t reply—or that they’ll say they’re too busy to meet. Still, I think it’s worth reaching out.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
It’s certainly nice to hear from a woman after we’ve been out of touch for a while.
That said, I can’t say for sure whether I’d want to meet her again.
If being turned down would hurt you, it’s probably safer not to reach out and invite her in the first place.
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I'm Date◎Yume, a male member.
I think it’s best to send it without expecting much of a reply. If you don’t get one, that’s okay too.
At least it may give you some closure.
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“Long time no see. How have you been?
I’m going on a trip to ○○ (your town) with a friend soon.
We’re planning to visit ○○, △△, and □□, but are there any sightseeing spots you’d recommend?
I’ll be with my friend, so I can’t go off on my own, but I would’ve loved to see you while I’m there.
Oh, but if it’s only for about an hour, maybe I could sneak away from my friend, lol.”
Try sending a LINE message along these lines.
—A Loser Guy
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think it would be good to send a message like: “It’s been a while. How have you been? I was talking with a friend about going to ○○, and it made me wonder how you’ve been, so I thought I’d reach out.”
If you only mention going out with a friend, he might feel awkward about suggesting that the two of you meet. So it may be a good idea to add something like, “Would you like to have dinner sometime? It’s been a while.”
Unless things ended badly, most people would probably be happy to meet someone they used to have a relationship with. So I think he’ll likely be receptive.
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
I think it’s worth reaching out. You could start with something casual, like asking how they’re doing or checking in on what they’ve been up to.
Even when we’ve grown pretty distant—or they’ve stopped replying—I still reach out every now and then.
Most of the time, I don’t get a response, but one person replied after a long time last month, and another did this month, so I made plans to go on dates with both of them. I’m looking forward to it.
Now that things have settled down with COVID, their circumstances may have changed too.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
No matter what advice I give you, I get the feeling you probably won’t end up contacting him anyway. Just a hunch.
Personally, I’m more drawn to girls who take action as soon as they get an idea, and even if they get left on read, they’ll chug canned beer while saying, “Being left on read doesn’t bother me at all… Drop dead!”
I like girls who get rough around the edges and a little jaded.
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