Last month, my papa (a male supporter) messaged me saying, “Work is busy, so I won’t be able to meet for a while,” so I replied, “I understand. Do your best at work and take care of yourself. I’ll be waiting!” and left it at that.
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Then the other day he said, “Why haven’t you contacted me? The other girls send me messages in the morning or at night, like ‘Are you busy? You’ve got this!’ or ‘Have you been getting enough sleep? Take care of yourself!’ If things continue like this, I guess we’ll drift apart...” I thought I was being considerate in my own way, so being told that we might drift apart made me want to cry. I’m thinking of letting us drift apart after all.
When someone tells you they’re busy, how would you like the other person to respond? What would you do? Was I in the wrong?
I’m Osaka, a male member.
Yes! I agree with the questioner’s choice to let things fade after reading the messages, lol.
I commented because it was entertaining, lol. I’d love to see how it continues, but it sounds like too much trouble, so I think that’s probably enough, lol.
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I’m Nana Ayase♡
You’re posting here exactly what the man said to you, right? If he really sent you such cruel words, then you can’t exactly message him after saying, “Good luck,” can you?
What a selfish person. Is he just looking for attention? …Whether you cut him off or continue things, do whatever you like.
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I’m a columnist and a bit of a flag-maker.
Let’s read between the lines here. He hardly gets any “Good luck—you’ve got this!”-type messages from other women either, even though he wants to receive them.
His pride keeps him from saying that directly to the woman he’s seeing, so it comes out as, “Maybe we’ll drift apart like this.”
In other words, what he really means is: “Pay more attention to me. Compliment me more.”
Whether you choose to play along is up to you, but in a way, he’s also an easy man to please.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
It feels like all the possible answers have already been given, but I think there was simply a misunderstanding between the person who asked the question and her papa.
Is that papa fairly popular? There are a lot of women doing papa-katsu, so I feel that, to stand out from the others, you need to offer something extra at the beginning—or rather, be willing to give a little more.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I think it depends on how often you and that man usually communicated.
If you were exchanging LINE messages almost every day, I can understand why he might say that.
But if, like me, you only used LINE to stay in touch occasionally, then I don’t think you were in the wrong.
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I’ll answer this as Maezawa from the CEO’s office.
“I’m busy with work, so I can’t for a while” probably meant that meeting up would be impossible. But since the subject was left out, it’s unreasonable to expect you to just know what they meant.
If they had only said they were busy, you might naturally respond with something like, “Hang in there.” But if they said “it’s impossible,” I can also see why you’d assume that even messaging on LINE wasn’t an option.
Still, you should explain properly why you didn’t contact them, and then judge based on whether their reply is kind or not. If their response isn’t warm, I think it’s fine to let the relationship fade.
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I'm Kazu, a male member.
When she said, “I’m too busy with work, so I can’t for a while,” she probably didn’t mean that he shouldn’t contact her at all.
The questioner may have been at fault for not being able to meet the man’s needs. But the man was also at fault for not communicating his expectations clearly to the woman he was seeing.
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