When we were deciding when to meet next over dinner, she suggested a week when she would normally be on her period, so I asked, “Will your period be okay that day?” She replied, with a straight face, “It’s fine. Adjusting things so we don’t meet while I’m on my period is my responsibility, right? If I can’t meet you, then I have no value.”
Unlike with my wife, my purpose in meeting a girl from Universe is an adult relationship (intimate), and I assume she understands that as well. So I felt uncomfortable that she seemed offended.
Did I do something wrong...? I’d like to maintain a long-term relationship, so I’d appreciate any advice.
(P.S. In my previous question, I accidentally typed “sax” instead of “sex,” so please delete it. I’m sorry.)
I’m Aya, a female member.
It sounds like you’re in a very transactional relationship, almost like one with a sex worker.
You probably should have said, “I’m not only interested in sex—we could just grab a meal together.” She may not have liked you that much to begin with, or that comment may have made her lose interest in you.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
As Flag Maker said, I think it’s because I asked something I didn’t need to.
When she says, “I have no value as a person,” that’s something you should immediately deny.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
It was because he asked, “Will your period be over by then?”
I think I got annoyed because I thought, “Obviously it’s fine—that’s why I suggested that date!”
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
If the woman you’re seeing has arranged the schedule, I think it’s best to leave it up to her. Even if, for some reason, things don’t work out intimately, I think you should approach the relationship with the attitude that it can’t be helped.
I have fairly flexible hours, so I leave scheduling up to the women, and it’s never been a problem. I’m sure women think things through carefully in their own way. I think it’s best not to overthink things and to date with some room in both your heart and your wallet.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Speaking with a straight face doesn’t necessarily mean someone is angry.
Some women seem to view registering with Universe as being similar to working in the adult entertainment industry.
Since you wrote that you meet women in order to have sex, the woman you’re seeing probably thinks of it that way too.
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My stomach hurts, lol.
“Sex” deleted, lol.
This is killing me—I can’t even work out, lol.
Seriously, though, if you’re looking for a long-term arrangement, the questioner gets zero points for how they acted.
If the day you met happened to be during her period, you should have gently handed her the adult-relationship allowance and said,
“Let’s just count today as an adult date, okay?”
When your wife was still your girlfriend, did you not see her during her period? Of course you did, right? It’s the same thing.
However, if she keeps scheduling dates around her period every month, you should end things.
—Loser Guy
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