It seems many of the respondents here have been in long-term relationships
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I’ve never had a relationship last very long, whether it was papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or a regular romantic relationship..
In papa-katsu, I rarely end things myself with someone I’ve met three times or more, but often they gradually stop contacting me and fade out. I started papa-katsu as a teenager, and it’s been about two years. I’ve met many men, but my longest arrangement lasted six months.
In regular relationships, I’ve only dated two people, but both ended by naturally drifting apart without any arguments.
I’m quite bad at relying on people or letting myself be spoiled, so I think one possible reason is that people feel I don’t open up to them.
Aside from that, what other traits come to mind when you think of women whose relationships—whether papa-katsu or regular romance—don’t last very long?
And what kind of women do you want to stay in a long-term relationship with?
Sorry this got so long, and thank you in advance.
I’m Aya, a female member.
Whether in my private life or in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), all my relationships have lasted a long time. Of course, I’ve had papas who only stuck around for a short while, but I’ve never had those awkward in-between arrangements that last, say, six months. I’m not really sure why.
I tend to open up to people too quickly, and I got hurt a lot as a teenager and in my early twenties. Because of that vulnerability, I feel like many of the people around me think, “I can’t take my eyes off her.”
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The other day, I was chatting casually on LINE with a male respondent, and the conversation turned to this topic:
Someone you enjoy talking to, share common interests with, and have good intimacy with—those are the people you can keep seeing.
He agreed with me. I think it’s difficult unless at least two of those apply.
I have a lot of hobbies and dabble in all sorts of things, so I feel that many people find they click with me in conversation.
For those who don’t share my hobbies, they’re usually people in the same line of work.
In either case, it means we have something in common to talk about.
I can’t continue seeing someone if the intimacy isn’t good.
Marika
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I’m in Seattle.
> I think one reason might be that I’m really bad at relying on or acting spoiled with someone, so they may feel like I haven’t opened up to them.
↑ I think you understand yourself quite well. Nothing is more boring than a woman who always keeps a poker face.
Think of it as earning 10,000 yen each time you act a little needy, and treat it like work. Eventually, it may start to feel natural.
Also, if he’s a Type B or higher, a completely passive woman probably won’t last long-term.
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I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
She’s a woman who genuinely liked me, even if only for a brief moment.
[Edit]
Sorry, I didn’t mean that I want to have a long-term arrangement involving an allowance. I meant a woman I’d want to stay with long-term even without an allowance being involved. My answer was off the mark. Sorry.
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