An older man exactly 20 years older keeps telling me things like:
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- There are tons of couples with a 20-year age gap.
- Since ◯◯ (me) doesn’t have much dating experience yet, I think your acceptable age range is just narrow.
- My ex was 15 years younger, so it feels strange to think of a 20-year age gap as papa-katsu.
It’s really getting on my nerves. A 20-year age gap is pretty common in papa-katsu, right?
Also, for those of you with lots of dating experience, what kind of age range are you attracted to?
I’m Dai, a male member.
You seem to think, “There’s no way she’d actually fall for an older guy.”
That’s fine if that’s how you see it.
But recently, someone close to me married a person 20 years their senior.
I’m attracted to younger women, but I’m not seeing women involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because I want them to fall for me.
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I’m Nana Ayase ♡
Do you think the age gap really matters?
I’m only interested in men in their 40s or older. Anyone in their 30s just looks like a child to me…
As long as we click in terms of personality, generosity, hobbies, and so on, even someone around 70 would be fine with me.
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I’ll answer too—Maezawa from the president’s office.
As for whether it makes sense to judge things based on the age gap, your way of thinking may actually be similar to that of the person you’re seeing.
That said, I feel this is something that naturally happens as people get older, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to find it annoying.
As you get older, age differences tend to matter less and less.
For example, when you were in elementary school, someone just one grade above you probably seemed much older. Even in junior high, the gap between a first-year and a third-year student may have felt huge.
But as you get older, a one- or two-year age difference hardly seems significant. You may even find yourself working normally with people who are 10 or 20 years older or younger.
Once you’re in that kind of environment, your range of potential romantic partners may naturally expand as well.
So in this case, since the two of you are different ages, it seems only natural that your perspectives would differ.
At this point, it’s probably harder for you to understand his perspective, so it may be perfectly fine to think, “That’s impossible,” and assume that he’s the one saying something strange.
You could even ask him:
“If women 20 years older than you are also within your romantic preferences, why don’t you date one?”
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
In ordinary dating, the biggest age gap I’ve experienced was with someone about 29 or 30 years younger than me, who asked me to consider her one of my girlfriends.
That feels like about the limit for me.
Actually, rather than the age gap itself, I think there comes a point when you simply can’t do it anymore as you get older.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Sorry, but I burst out laughing. I’d love to record that line and blast it through a speaker, lol.
I’m married, so I can’t be in a romantic relationship. That’s why I’m here.
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It’s not that he’s refusing to accept it, but I can really sense a “Think about it carefully, okay?” kind of attitude from that papa (male supporter).
I know my needs are different from those of women in their early twenties, but even from my perspective:
The men up to about twelve years older than me were all genuinely serious. The ones more than twenty years older were mostly in a “I just want to spoil and pamper her” mode. The man I’m dating because I genuinely like him as a man is about ten years older than me.
—Akari
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t really care how big the age gap is, but I found it annoying how that man kept trying to convince the other person of the same things he was telling himself. He really didn’t know when to let it go.
A common age gap in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is probably around 20 to 40 years.
I’d never really thought much about age before, but when I was around 30, I dated a woman who was 7 or 8 years older than me. When I was around 40, I dated a woman who was 9 years younger.
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