How can I learn to see being a mistress as a job? I started after being laid off because of COVID-19.
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Even though I’m doing it for the money, I still can’t fully detach myself emotionally.
When I think about how he compares me with all kinds of other women, and how his kindness comes from sexual desire, I end up feeling like I’m worth less than a love doll.
Maybe I feel this way because the allowance isn’t particularly generous, even though I don’t dislike him. I’m not sure it’s worth what I’m giving. Since I didn’t receive many offers, I became his mistress without being able to be selective. One of the terms is that I’m not allowed to date anyone else.
He’s very kind, but I’ve started to wonder if his kindness is just a kind of imitation of love, and that’s why I’ve begun feeling this way.
He’s a papa (a male supporter) I met here who owns several love dolls. I’d feel differently if he loved me devotedly, though.
At what level of allowance would you be able to give him your full attention and be there for him 100%?
For reference, I receive ¥300,000 a month and see him every other day (sometimes every day for a week), having unprotected sex with ejaculation inside. It wouldn’t be surprising if I came down with an illness at any time.
Wouldn’t it be better to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) on a pay-per-meeting basis instead?
Please tell me what you think the principles of being a mistress should be.
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s Office, and I’ll answer as well.
If you’re getting ¥300,000 a month and there are even weeks when you meet every day, that works out to about 22 adult relationships a month on average.
That means:
¥13,000–¥14,000 per time…
That’s far too low.
Of course, you may feel that you have to put up with it if you’re receiving ¥300,000 a month, but please think about it carefully.
If you posted on an app saying, “¥14,000 is fine,” men would flock to you. You’d probably get approaches from dozens of men even without posting a photo. Naturally, with protection.
When you think about it that way, you could easily make ¥300,000 a month without relying on that one man. Please realize that you’re letting the number 300,000 influence you too much.
Once you recognize that, I think you should focus on receiving the ¥300,000 while avoiding meetings as much as possible—for example, saying you already have plans whenever he asks to meet.
The fact that you sometimes meet every day suggests there was never an agreed number of meetings in the first place, so I think you should aim to keep it to no more than once a week—four times a month.
You’d probably be satisfied if it were four times a month. (Ideally, you’d want ¥300,000 for just one or two meetings a month, though.)
If he’s genuinely kind, he should still give you ¥300,000 for four meetings a month. This may also help you judge whether he’s truly kind.
After that, I think you should quietly restart papa-katsu and find some other papas as well.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
That amount is far too low. When your self-esteem has taken a hit from being laid off, doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or dating can make it hard to realize when you’re being treated terribly, so you should stop immediately. You’ll make yourself sick.
I’ve had a similar experience—not with papa-katsu—so I understand. When your self-esteem is low, you’re more likely to be exploited by bad men.
So if you want to earn more, I think you should quit papa-katsu and get a daytime job, making it impossible to coordinate your schedule with your current papa (a male supporter). Then quietly resume papa-katsu, find a better papa, and gradually fade out your current arrangement. You’ve lost your sense of agency, and that’s dangerous. Things are really bad as they are, so please take care.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
Would it really be better if your current papa became a once-a-month arrangement? Or would you rather have 100 a month? Would becoming exclusive really solve the problem?
If that happened, wouldn’t the questioner just develop some other complaint? Would that be okay?
As for the “way of the mistress,” I’m a man, so I don’t know much about it lol. If you truly master it, do you awaken as a completely different person, like some kind of Super Saiyan? If so, sorry—I wouldn’t know lol.
Maybe you’re looking for too much outside yourself? Is that frustrating you because those things are pretty hard to change? It’d be faster to change your own way of thinking and your actions, you know lol.
This is totally beside the point, but everyone loves and gets pushed around by Yukichi-kun in all sorts of ways. The Yukichi printed on that piece of paper left behind various famous sayings, like “independence and self-respect.” I thought it was pretty surreal that they chose to put him on the 10,000-yen bill.
Though he’s being replaced with a new design soon lol.
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I’m Ayase Nana♡
There was still plenty of work during the pandemic. Were you really looking properly, or have you been too picky?
After the CEO’s secretary incident, I found another job and am working again now. Please return to a regular daytime job.
Otherwise, things could become difficult when you move or apply for a credit card.
Do you really think he’s seeing other girls too?
Is he a papa in his 20s? You see him almost every day, right?
If I met and shared affection with him 20 times a month, that would come to 2 million yen—but your situation is on a completely different scale.
You’re selling yourself far too cheaply. It seems like the important parts—and your heart—might break.
I hope you’ll hide your current papa and start over again. I hope a good papa takes you in.
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He’s seeing other people too, yet he wants to go bare with you? At that point, he doesn’t come across as kind at all—just an older guy who simply wants to have his way.
If you really need the money to get by, at least tell him, “No going bare.”
Or why not start working, even if it’s just a part-time job?
I can’t help picturing you with your hands and feet shackled, and the tightening headband from *Journey to the West* around your head.
I truly hope you don’t end up hurting either your mind or your body.
—Akari
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I’m Dai, a male member.
It sounds like you have a lot of frustrations, but I get the impression that you’re just going along with things.
I think the first step toward changing your situation is to return to your regular day job.
If you’re not working, you have no choice but to accept the arrangement, since you still need to survive on ¥300,000 a month.
You can negotiate with men after that.
Still, a man who has unprotected sex with one woman every other day while also dating another woman is pretty intense.
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I’m Hikōki, a male member.
It’s really turned into a battle of endurance for both men and women—basically becoming the sex industry.
Women who have to endure meeting every other day or every day just to receive 30.
Men who can’t feel satisfied unless they meet every other day or every day in order to give 30.
Both are clearly men and women who aren’t suited to this club, since they can only be with partners they have to endure that much for.
I feel that both sides should withdraw from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
You seem very focused on whether his kindness comes from sexual desire, but I think that, in most cases, people get involved with someone because of some kind of desire. Especially in a relationship where an allowance is exchanged, the relationship is built on the desires of both parties. You met that man because of your own desires as well, didn’t you?
What would make you feel comfortable about the source of his kindness? Devotion?
I think doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) on a pay-per-meeting basis would increase your take-home earnings. However, you’d also be more likely to encounter men who aren’t kind, and the risk of the illness you’re concerned about would probably increase as well.
Rather than comparing yourself with what other people are doing, I think it would be better to consider what exactly you’re dissatisfied with about your current situation and how you want to resolve it, including analyzing things from the other person’s perspective.
I don’t consider being a mistress to be a job. Once a woman starts treating it as work, I believe she becomes either a love doll or a sex worker.
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