I want to be able to say no even when someone pressures me to have unprotected sex.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. Why do you want to become someone who can refuse even when pressured to have unprotected sex? There are plenty of people who are okay with it. To put it bluntly, at soaplands, having unprotected sex is practically the norm. In your case, I think you haven’t clearly figured out the “why.” You receive an allowance because you agree to unprotected sex, and you’ve never gotten sick or become pregnant. So perhaps you haven’t seriously thought about why you should refuse. But the fact that you haven’t gotten sick or pregnant so far is just luck—those risks are always there. It’s also true that many women end up regretting it afterward. Taking care of yourself means different things to different people. Some value their health, while others value money. Protecting what matters to you may sometimes require accepting a certain amount of sacrifice. Before you end up regretting it, take some time to think it through again.

I’m Shingo Lee, a columnist. Taking care of yourself means having lots of conversations with yourself. Are you just drifting through life? If you can’t clearly say no to things you dislike, you have to make an effort to learn how. If you don’t want to have sex without protection, it’s important to avoid situations where that could happen. Choosing not to engage in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is one valid option, and only seeing people who treat you with care is another. Identifying what you dislike, why you dislike it, the priorities of what matters to you, and what you’re willing to sacrifice—all of these are necessary for taking care of yourself. You can work through them by making time to have conversations with yourself. When you try to talk with yourself, simply going around in circles in your head won’t do it. You can have that conversation by keeping a diary, writing in a notebook, and putting your thoughts into words. Once your words are written down, they become the words of your “past self.” Even if you think about yourself in your head, it’s only the voice of your “present self.” By putting your thoughts into writing, you can create a dialogue between your “past self” and your “present self,” and I recommend doing so to better understand who you are.

I’m Papercraft, a male member. The most peaceful option is to quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).

I’m Kazu, a male member. I think valuing yourself starts with stopping the habit of deceiving yourself by saying, “I was forced into it.” You may be able to make excuses for yourself by positioning yourself as the victim, but in the end, I don’t think that leads to truly valuing yourself.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here with an answer. I’ve revised the question. I think it’s fine to simply state your own opinion as it is. Whether you put up with it or not is for you to decide. That’s how I see it, anyway. It’s a difficult balance, but I think everyone lives their life that way.