I had a cervical cancer screening and was told I need follow-up. It was a type that isn’t likely to turn into cancer right away and may disappear on its own, but with the papa I’d been seeing for two years, we’d always had unprotected sex while I was on the pill. So I messaged him saying, “I think I’m going to stop having unprotected sex.” He seemed very worried and agreed that we should do that.

I’m Dai, a male member. When I asked, “Without protection?” she replied, “Huh? Um… yes? No?” So I couldn’t say anything and we ended up doing it without protection. If you truly didn’t want to, you should have clearly refused right then. Are you going to continue seeing him without protection just because you feel he cares about you? It seems like you already know the answer.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office will answer as well. I felt that way when I saw the LINE messages, but after looking into it more carefully, perhaps I realized there wasn’t really much of a causal connection. For example, even a quick search brings up statements like this: “Condoms are generally recommended for preventing sexually transmitted infections. However, HPV can be present over a wide area, including the penis, scrotum, and area around the anus in men, and the vulva and area around the anus in women, so it’s impossible to prevent infection with condoms alone. In rare cases, HPV can be transmitted through towels laid out in places such as saunas. Since transmission through shared items, such as towels that someone had used immediately beforehand, is also possible, the possibility of infection at public facilities cannot be ruled out.” If that’s the case, the issue becomes less about whether it was unprotected and more about avoiding intimacy altogether. I can’t really know without hearing from her directly, but I feel that whether she values you and what happened this time are two somewhat different matters. If she truly valued you, wouldn’t it end up being more like, “Should we break up?” Is that what she considered to be the better option? Of course, when your own body is flagged for further observation, you probably become more sensitive to all sorts of things, so it might be best to take a temporary break from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). After that, once you’ve been tested and everything is clear, you can consider starting again.

I’m Aya, a female member. I understand. When your papa doesn’t show concern for your well-being, it can make you feel sad and wonder whether he really values you. It’s not about whether “monitoring things is good enough” or anything like that. Unfortunately, if I had the same experience, I’d feel hurt too, and I might think we could never truly understand each other. Once, I told a stylish older papa, based on my experience with my ex, “I can do it even when I’m on my period.” My ex was abusive and controlling, and he pressured me regardless of whether I was menstruating, so I thought that was normal. But the papa said, “No, you shouldn’t do that while you’re on your period. A woman’s body is delicate, so you need to take better care of yourself.” That really opened my eyes. Being with this papa taught me to take better care of my body. I hope you, too, meet a papa who genuinely tries to understand women’s sensitive needs.

I’m Kazu, a male member. It’s not something that would be resolved simply by not having unprotected sex, and maybe he tried to gradually push things in that direction because he preferred it that way. I think that’s a separate issue from whether or not he truly values her.

When he heard what you had to say, he probably intended to be kind, but couldn’t resist the temptation of going bare and simply played dumb. Whether you’re being valued is a separate issue. Marika