I’m a university student who covers all my own living expenses and rent. However, my family is fairly well-off, and I have more than 10 million yen in savings.
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I also have another 3 million yen from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) allowances. Although I pay my own rent and living expenses, I receive nearly 100,000 yen a month in a scholarship that I don’t have to repay because of my good grades, and I also work part-time and earn about 150,000 yen a month. I can live on those sources alone, so I’m not actually struggling financially.
However, I tell the men I date, “I’m working constantly just to cover my living expenses. I want to do more than just work—I also want to study, which is why I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).” It’s true that I work to the point of sacrificing sleep, but I genuinely enjoy working. I’m the type of person who would rather work than sleep.
From the outside, I probably look like someone who works an incredible amount while attending university and is having a hard time. Even my friends worry about me and say, “You’re going to ruin your health if you work that much!”
I attend a well-known university, so I should be able to find a regular job, and having more than 10 million yen saved at age 20 is probably pretty good. But from a man’s perspective, if he sees that a woman isn’t actually struggling financially, would he lose the desire to support her?
I’m tired of pretending to be short on money when I’m not really struggling. That said, I’ve never worn the same outfit twice on dates with men, and I sometimes bring high-end designer bags, so observant men may already think, “This girl probably isn’t actually struggling that much financially.”
I’m Aya, a female member.
You’re probably just getting a little tired of lying. If you want to transition naturally without forcing it, start telling the papas you’re close to that you’ve been working hard to save money. Present yourself as someone who says, “I always feel uneasy no matter how much money I have, so saving is my hobby. I enjoy my regular part-time job too—I really love working.”
My papa knows I have enough money that I wouldn’t need to work anymore, but he understands that I enjoy my job, so he hasn’t said he’ll stop supporting me. However, getting to that point requires becoming genuinely close with your papa. For now, why not focus on finding someone you can relax and feel comfortable with?
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I’m Dai, a male member.
It’s hard to comment because I can’t tell what your purpose is in dating men.
Does that mean you’re not doing it for the money?
I feel that both of you would be more comfortable seeing each other if you were honest about your intentions.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
Based on:
> Pretending to be short on money when I’m actually not is exhausting.
and
> If a woman you’ve been supporting because she said she was struggling with living expenses turns out not to be short on money, would you lose the desire to support her?
I think what you’re really asking is:
You still want money from your papa as before, but pretending to be short on money has become exhausting, so you don’t want to do it anymore.
However, since it seems like you wouldn’t receive money unless you pretended to be struggling, you want to ask how to handle it.
If you’re not actually short on money, then logically, your allowance should be lower, right? Even if you don’t say that yourself, I feel like some men would lower it anyway.
So I don’t think you need to pretend to be struggling, but I also don’t think you need to tell him that you’re financially comfortable.
You want money even though you’re not struggling, so you could just have a consistent story, like:
Why are you doing papa-katsu? → Because I want money.
Why do you want that much money? → Because I want to save.
Have you saved enough yet? → I’m still nowhere near my goal, so I want to save a lot more.
Even if you already have 10 million yen plus another 3 million yen saved, that still isn’t enough, right?
You probably want much more. It’s just that because you don’t have a specific goal, it ends up sounding like you’re not really struggling.
For example, if your goal were to save 300 million yen, then as long as you don’t tell the man the exact amount, it would still be true that you have a long way to go financially.
You’re not struggling, but you want much more money—it’s nowhere near enough.
If you frame it that way, you won’t need to pretend to be struggling.
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This is Nana Ayase ♡
If you come from a wealthy family, haven’t you ever gone with your parents to the home of some company president? People will recognize you.
Please be careful not to cause problems for your parents’ business.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
I have no issue with an allowance as part of dating, and it doesn’t put me off. But the word “support” does bother me.
That said, if you’re receiving support by lying, you should probably be careful. There’s nothing wrong with being wealthy or well-off, but some people can be scary if they realize they’ve been deceived. Don’t let your guard down.
P.S.
Try not to talk too much, lol. The men are probably playing along with the image you’re giving them, even if you’re a struggling student, lol.
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I’m a male member named Paper Airplane.
There’s absolutely no problem with not being short on money.
The allowance is simply a token of appreciation for the enjoyable time we share. I’m filled with both joy and gratitude.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Even if she wasn’t struggling financially, I wouldn’t lose the desire to give her an allowance. I don’t know about “support,” since I’ve never done that.
I don’t like being led around by someone with a habit of lying, so if I found out she’d lied about being in financial trouble, I might end the relationship.
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