I’d like to meet a woman who’s honest, gets shy from time to time, isn’t overly jaded, and still has a certain innocence about her.
I joined the club looking for some comfort and have met seven women so far. They were all very beautiful, but they seemed experienced and perhaps calculating, which felt far from the kind of comfort I was looking for.
I prefer women around their late 20s to early 30s rather than students or girls who are too young, so that’s the age range I’ve been making offers to. But are there really very few women in that age group who have managed to retain their innocence?
This is Saito♪, the columnist.
The women who quit soon after joining tended to be like that.
If you proactively reach out to new members who seem calm and a little older, I feel like you might come across someone like that about 10% of the time.
The other 90% seem to be women who are mainly focused on gathering information.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I think the problem is that you’re only making offers to popular women.
Why not try meeting women who have no experience with sex work, the nightlife industry, or papa-katsu apps, and who have never received an offer?
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Someone who’s “very beautiful” probably gets offers from plenty of people besides you, so I suppose it’s only natural that she’s become used to it.
There was a question here recently about someone who had adult relationships with several papas through a club, yet still showed her boyfriend her innocent side.
If you can either make her genuinely fall for you, or become her favorite among all her papas—not because of the allowance, but because you make her want to see you—I think her overly practiced, calculating side will gradually fade into the background.
You could either shift your focus to a girl who doesn’t seem to get many offers and seek comfort that way, or work on yourself and become more attractive. I think one of those approaches should solve the problem.
Marika
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I’m columnist Fuu.
I can kind of understand where the questioner is coming from. I feel much the same way.
Female members are fighting their own battles—some have had to deal with several difficult papas on their own and get through all kinds of unpleasant experiences. So among the late-twenties-to-early-thirties women you prefer, they may not look completely innocent at first glance.
If you’re genuinely looking for someone inexperienced, you might eventually get lucky by repeatedly making offers to women who have just moved in from the countryside and only recently started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
That said, some of Fuu’s monthly arrangements seem to have been former Minato-ku girls or ex-sex-club hostesses. But after dating for six months or a year, you get to see sides of them that aren’t just calculated—like, “Oh, she can be this sweet?” or “That reaction is adorable.”
I recommend continuing to see a few girls you really like.
Eventually, there’ll be a moment when she opens up to you and you feel that she’s become comfortable with you. Just recently, after a whole year, one finally listened to what Fuu wanted and agreed to do it standing up. (Lol, I’m so weak.)
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
This might be a pretty messed-up idea, but maybe you’re not immersing yourself in it enough?
Even experienced papa-katsu women are pure at heart. Doing papa-katsu as their genuine selves is painful, so they do it while pretending to be experienced papa-katsu women. The persona takes on all the painful parts of papa-katsu. Otherwise, their pure selves would fall apart.
If you immerse yourself in it more and more like that, everyone will start to look like an inexperienced papa-katsu woman.
Then I think the questioner might be able to find happiness.
Although you may also become a pretty messed-up person in the process.
For reference, take the protagonist of the manga Ichi the Killer.
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist.
There may not be many women left who are genuinely unsophisticated and still somewhat pure.
Even when someone appears that way at first glance, you often realize they’re not once you get to know them better. And even truly pure, unjaded women may change as they grow older.
If you look at it another way, a pure, unworldly woman could also be seen as someone who’s naive about the world—and therefore convenient for men.
People who mature tend to become somewhat jaded and lose some of their innocence.
Isn’t the reason you prefer women around 30 simply that women around 20 feel “scary” to you?
Why not try dating someone in her early 20s for once? Or you’d probably have better luck approaching a stranger working at a convenience store or McDonald’s—you might find someone much more genuinely innocent that way.
If it’s dinner only, with no intimacy, they might be willing to go along with it.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I’ve met three women in person:
- Mid-30s, married
- Late 20s, single
- Early 20s, single
Since this is a dating club, I get the feeling that none of them are exactly innocent.
In particular, my relationship with the single woman in her late 20s—no adult relationship, and possibly a bait-and-switch regarding her stated relationship type—was a great learning experience. I thought, “So this is what it means to be good at dating” (laughs).
That said, there really are young women who don’t try to misrepresent the relationship, dress in a way that suits an old guy like me, and show genuine consideration.
When I first met one of them, she showed up with such a doll-like hairstyle and frilly outfit that I thought, “This is definitely not going to work.” But, surprisingly, things took an unexpected turn.
Men are calculating too, so it’s only natural to accept that women can be calculating as well. If you spend a little time together and the woman gradually changes—or the man starts adapting to her—you may get to see a different side of the woman right in front of you.
I think that’s another way to enjoy a dating club.
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I’ll answer too—Maezawa from the CEO’s office.
As you gain all kinds of experience, you become less easily rattled by minor things and better able to handle situations that younger people might struggle with.
That’s precisely why experienced people are valued in society.
So if someone has lived a long time but still can’t handle even the simplest situations, you can’t help wondering how they’ve made it this far. You might even wonder whether they’ve somehow lived without gaining any life experience at all.
That’s why, if you’re looking for a woman around 30 who gets surprised by the slightest thing, it seems almost like searching for someone who has done neither work nor anything else and stayed at home until turning 30. It sounds extremely difficult.
If you’re looking for someone honest, a little shy, not overly jaded, and with a certain innocence about her, then basically you’ll be looking for someone with little life experience.
However, women like that may also be less considerate of their partner and may be more prone to acting selfishly.
That’s why, if what you’re looking for is comfort and healing, a woman around 30 may be a better choice.
Whether someone is jaded or experienced has nothing to do with age, so I think you should keep looking.
In fact, there are plenty of women like that. The only reason your chances of meeting one are lower is that everyone tends to go for women with flashier appearances.
If you’re looking for someone who has both the right appearance and personality, you’ll be able to meet one if you continue making plenty of offers.
But if you look at things from a slightly different angle, you might find someone you could meet right away.
Would you like me to introduce you to someone? I haven’t interviewed her, so I can’t guarantee the accuracy, but even so, I don’t think finding that kind of woman would be particularly difficult.
That said, it sounds like you have other terms besides the ones you mentioned here. Unless you tell me everything, we may end up discovering that she isn’t what you’re looking for.
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I’m Hikoki, a male member.
I’m sure women like that exist, but it may be a little difficult to find one among mature women in that age group who’ve already experienced a lot.
> I’d like to meet a woman who’s honest, gets shy, isn’t jaded, and still has a certain innocence about her.
Given your age, it might be a good idea to look for someone who’ll continue seeing you long-term without even discussing an allowance—someone who isn’t used to dating clubs or papa-katsu.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
If a woman in her late twenties or early thirties who’s registered with a dating club were like that, I’d worry about whether she was managing everyday life properly. I’d also feel guilty about entering into that kind of relationship with someone who lacks the ability to make sound decisions—it would feel like I was deceiving her.
Women who lack that kind of judgment are likely to cause problems, so I imagine they’d probably be rejected during the interview.
That said, if it’s her first offer, you may get the sense that she isn’t used to it yet. But someone who’s inexperienced is a long way from being soothing, in my opinion.
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