I received a letter from my papa, and honestly, I’m at a loss.
This content is machine-translated.
It’s three pages long, written in messy handwriting.
“Everyone has both light and shadow within them, and the you I see is only your light. You may have a darker side too, but don’t show it to me. Keep deceiving me skillfully.”
This isn’t the entire letter, but I wrote down the parts that stuck with me.
Maybe receiving a letter is supposed to feel nice, but honestly, I found it rather heavy.
This papa also keeps me out for a long time on our dates.
“When we first met, he told me, ‘The girl before you was the type to leave right on time after four hours. I’d rather you didn’t do that.’ Since then, we’ve usually spent at least six hours together.
Spending that much time together is tiring. Also, he apparently wants us to walk around holding hands in public, which I honestly dislike too.
The allowance is only ¥30,000, which is low, so I’m thinking about ending things. But I don’t get many offers, so I’m torn.
I’m Fuu, a columnist.
¥30,000! That’s a lot!
If you’re already thinking about ending things, you should also be prepared for him to cut you off. Otherwise, the stress will only keep building, so why not gradually start expressing what you want?
For example, four hours together, and not holding hands in public.
In the meantime, update your photos, change your profile, and do whatever you can to prepare for new offers. Then hopefully, a good offer will come along.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Haha!
Well, it’s a toss-up.
Definitely something to think about.
As Aya said, he might actually be a surprisingly good guy.
Also, you should say no when something makes you uncomfortable.
And again, don’t put up with too much!
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I once turned a low-paying papa (a male supporter) who was the lovestruck type—he even gave me handwritten letters—into a generous (well-paying) papa in just three months. I was happy to accept the letters and long dates too (there was no intimacy, but I think I received an allowance of ¥20,000 for six hours), and he eventually became a generous supporter.
So I think you should decide whether to continue seeing him based on his potential.
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I’m a male member named Dai.
You’re probably unhappy because you’d be tied up for six hours for an allowance of 30,000 yen, but to put it bluntly, that’s what the questioner is worth.
If you don’t get many offers but also don’t want to be with that particular man, then I feel your only option is to quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) altogether.
Also, regarding the “messy handwriting,” some men of a certain age write in their own cursive style rather than in clear block letters, which may be why it’s difficult to read.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
If it were me, I’d burn the letter first.
If I felt that burning it might be going too far or felt guilty about it, I’d continue seeing her for a little while longer.
But if I stomped on the ashes with my shoe, thinking, “Ugh, this is so creepy!” I’d accept that it wasn’t going to work and end things.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
Whoa! That sounds pretty rough.
“Light and shadow”? What is he, a count? lol
Anyone who demands certain feelings or behavior from a woman is the pushy type. If you plan to continue seeing him, you’ll need to be prepared to keep meeting those demands. It depends on how much she can put up with, but I don’t think things are likely to improve from here.
Sometimes women also tell men what they expect from them as their “ideal man,” but there’s nothing more hollow than a relationship where you’re told to play a role and keep acting it out.
Should we call this “demand harassment” or “idealization harassment”? lol
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here—I’ll answer too.
It’s understandable to worry when you’re not getting many offers. But if it’s taking a toll on you, staying in the same situation could really affect your mental health.
For starters, I think you should try leaving after four hours.
Since you’re asking how to deceive him tactfully, it might help to come up with a solid reason for leaving after four hours.
If you see him often, you could say you have a part-time job. Or say you’re going out with a female friend. You could also explain that spending time with friends is important to you—something along the lines of, “Having fun is important too.” Just add that your papa (a male supporter) is important to you as well.
As for holding hands in public, you could say, “Someone I know saw us the other day, and I tried to cover by saying you were a relative, but they said it was strange that we were holding hands. So let’s not hold hands when we walk from now on.”
That way, you’ll be fine even if someone sees you. You could say something like, “You’re important to me, but my friends are important too.”
Since you want to handle this tactfully, try to steer the relationship toward meeting for four hours and not holding hands in public.
After that, I suppose you just wait until you meet someone better.
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Hmm, I guess it comes down to how much you’re willing to put up with.
If you don’t have another papa (male supporter), do you really have no choice but to put up with it?
Can’t you get by without an allowance?
Marika
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