My papa keeps encouraging me to invest, and it’s becoming stressful.
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This is about one of the several papas I see.
He’s a papa I have a very good relationship with and we have a monthly arrangement, but he keeps saying, “My allowance is more than your day-job salary, so why don’t you try putting your entire day-job salary into investments?”
I haven’t told him this, but I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to pay off debt and student loans, cover my rent and medical expenses (not beauty treatments), and send money to my family. Even combining my day-job income with my allowance, I’m barely getting by right now.
There’s absolutely no money left over to invest.
Rather than wanting to help or support an unfortunate girl in a difficult situation, this papa seems to like positive, young, curious, innocent, fearless girls who don’t seem to be afraid of anything. At least, that’s how I’ve analyzed him, so I don’t give off the impression that I’m struggling financially.
Thanks to playing the role of a bright girl overflowing with dreams and hope—which isn’t actually how I feel—I’ve been seeing him in a monthly arrangement for about a year and a half.
Perhaps because he works in the financial industry, he brings up investing every time we meet.
However, he doesn’t seem interested in teaching me from the ground up.
Instead, it feels like he enjoys having me study investing, then asking me questions I can’t answer....
But I’m a complete beginner when it comes to investing.
I don’t even know what I don’t know, and I have no idea how or where to start learning.
Once, I told him something like, “I’m a complete beginner, so I’d really like you to teach me. Or would you be willing to manage part of my money for me?” But he looked uncomfortable, so I don’t think I’ll ask again....
I’m meeting him again today, and just thinking that he might bring up investing again—and that I’ll have to get through the conversation by asking makeshift questions based on my superficial knowledge—makes me feel depressed....
Other than this, he’s an ideal supporter, so I’d like to continue seeing him for a long time. What should I do?
I’m Aya, a female member.
With a NISA investment plan, you can start investing with just a few thousand yen a month, so I suppose that’s better than nothing. But since investing only a few thousand yen wouldn’t amount to much, that papa probably wants you to invest the entire allowance.
It’s tough having to play a role and not being able to speak your mind. At this point, I think it might be best to study investing and just pretend you’ve started investing.
If you’re going to get money out of your papa, you should at least go that far. If you can’t do that, just go along with whatever he says. Try to stay positive and think of it as honing your ability to play along in conversations.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here—I’ll answer too.
> “What would be the right thing for me to do?”
How about simply saying:
“Why don’t you invest all of your daytime earnings?”
“Okay, I will.”
That should work, shouldn’t it?
And if they follow up with something like, “So where should I invest it?” you can just respond:
“Where do you think I should invest it?”
The trick is to keep the conversation going while answering, “I’ll do that,” to everything.
Actually, I think people who are well-liked by others are usually like that.
As for whether you really invest the money…
You could say something like:
“I was just about to apply for an account with [such-and-such], but I couldn’t find my ID documents. I’m looking for them now.”
That kind of thing also feels like a conversational technique.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
I kind of understand how you feel. It might be best if you can both be yourselves and keep things going that way.
Men probably want you to take a genuine interest because they’d like to get excited together about something they’re good at, or feel respected by you. If it’s finance-related, learning about it wouldn’t be a bad thing, so it would be great if you could take a genuine interest in it yourself.
Regardless of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), if I enjoy a movie, drama, or book, I’ll sometimes recommend it to someone—but it’s rare for people to actually take me up on it. I’m slow to get around to things even when someone recommends them to me, so I understand how you feel. That’s why I keep my recommendations casual too.
Still, when someone really does watch or read what I recommended, I’m honestly happy just knowing that, and we can get more animated talking about their impressions. If the conversation gets into more niche details, we realize we both genuinely like it, and that makes it even more exciting.
But you do need to be careful: the more genuinely interested you seem, the more recommendations you’ll receive. If you don’t really like the subject, it can become hell, so be careful about pretending to be a fan just to match their enthusiasm.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Whether it’s investment advice or this question, I feel you’re relying far too much on others. First, you should get into the habit of thinking about how to solve your own problems yourself.
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