He says things like “I’m devoted to you” and “I only love you,” yet he’s making offers to and dating other women and using dating apps, so I’ve started to wonder what the point is of seeing him. I’m not so much afraid of cheating as I am of being betrayed so casually, right to my face. I had made all kinds of plans for the future with him, but now I feel like he could betray those just as easily, and the anxiety is taking a serious toll on my mental health.
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I was wrong to focus on just one person.
I hurriedly started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but I haven’t been able to meet anyone decent, and I’m stuck in this painful situation. Today’s person didn’t work out either…
I want to get away as soon as I find a new papa (a male supporter).
Of course, I’m making sure he doesn’t realize that I’ve lost feelings, so he hasn’t noticed.
Reading the questions about allowances made me feel even worse.
When I think about how some people receive plenty of both money and love and live happily, I feel like I have no value.
I want him to kill me as an apology to him.
How should I ask him to kill me?
Don’t take everything a papa says at face value.
If it were truly genuine, he wouldn’t go out of his way to say it. You can tell by observing his attitude, the atmosphere, and so on.
After all, you’re being offered money, receiving an allowance, and being intimate with him, right? His real desire is probably to be able to be with a young woman because he’s paying her—to flirt and get close to a cute young girl. Any papa who pressed the offer button with that in mind…
Saying he’s devoted to you just because that’s what he says?
No, no, no, no.
Keep your head on straight.
As Aya said in her answer to the previous question:
You should happily accept the way your papa desperately turns toward you and does everything he can for you, while keeping your inner self cool and remembering that you don’t share the same level of feelings or intensity—and still do your best to treat him well.
Without that kind of cunning and cleverness, there’s no point in having a papa for a relationship based on an allowance.
Akari
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist.
There are many reasons people betray you. They may have intended to betray you from the start, or they may not have meant to at all.
Either way, if you had enough appeal—not just as a woman, but as a person—I don’t think you would have been betrayed.
Recognize that your current relationship is mismatched, and cut ties with this papa right away instead of waiting for the next one.
I don’t think someone who says they want to be killed as an apology, or who is strongly inclined to blame others, is an appealing person.
If that’s how you feel, then move on as though you’d already been killed off. I’m sure a wonderful life awaits you—one that will eventually make you think, “I’m glad I’m still alive.”
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I’m Dai, a male member.
The ones who say things like “I’m devoted to you” or “You’re the only one I love” are usually the most suspicious.
I don’t think you’ll have much luck finding a new papa (a male supporter) while you’re emotionally struggling.
After all, no one really wants to date someone who’s not in a good place mentally…
It would probably be best to start by ending things with that man.
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It’s me.
Whoa, I think it’s a little too early to dismiss this as cheating.
For starters, how exactly do we define “cheating” in this context?
You can always walk away or seek revenge later.
For now, I think you should both put into words anything that’s been bothering you and decide together what to do going forward.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
Men and women can be very complicated. If you can’t trust someone, I think replacing them is unavoidable.
> How should I beg him to kill me?
I don’t think there’s anything you can do about that. Rather than thinking about such things, I think you’d be better off considering how you can become a more valuable woman.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
It must be really painful to be betrayed so casually. I hope you can find another boyfriend or papa (a male supporter) around your age soon…
If it’s hurting you that much, why not honestly tell him how you feel? I try to communicate my concerns about a relationship whenever possible. Often, we end up apologizing to each other or talking things through, and it brings us closer.
If you’re going to break up anyway, you might as well tell him exactly how you feel before ending things. There’s also a chance that doing so could bring you even closer, so I don’t think you have much to lose.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
> I want him to kill me as an apology.
If he’s dating other women too, though, it doesn’t seem like he feels any remorse in the first place.
For your own peace of mind, I think it would be best to break things off with him.
Then, once you’re on your own, find a new papa (a male supporter).
That seems like the better option.
You probably won’t find a good papa easily, but even so, you might want to spend more time getting to know different men instead of sticking with that bad papa.
As you spend time with them, you may gradually come to understand how papas think.
I understand wanting to find an ideal papa right away, but I think it’s better to meet and date a variety of people first.
Meet as many people as possible. In time, you’ll start to understand how men think and be able to find a good papa.
That might be a good way to go about it.
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