Hello. I haven’t heard from a woman I’ve been seeing for over six months for about a week now. She was the one who stopped contacting me. We haven’t made plans for our next private meeting either, so I’m wondering if she’ll contact me again. If she won’t, I’d like to move on as soon as possible.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Don’t panic just because it’s been about a week. I’ve had women I’ve been seeing for years go completely silent for half a month from time to time, haha.
I don’t know how often you used to meet, but if you were seeing each other twice a month, try checking in around the two-week mark to make sure she’s okay. If she still doesn’t reply, then start thinking about what to do next.
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I’m Maki from the Tokyo staff, and I’d like to answer as well.
At interviews, the vast majority of women say things like, “I’m worried he’ll contact me too often” and “I’d prefer to keep a certain amount of distance,” so I think it’s best to take things slowly when communicating.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
If it’s only been about a week, I’d probably wait and see for a little longer. If they haven’t reached out after three weeks or a month, I’d move on. Ignoring someone is rude, after all… The mere fact that they think it’s okay to treat you disrespectfully is reason enough to move on, in my opinion.
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I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
Don’t get so rattled over something that minor.
Don’t run from that pain, that anxiety, that bitterness. Sit with it, savor it, and let yourself feel it. Before long, it’ll start to bring out a richer flavor.
If you keep flailing around in panic, you’ll stay an uncool adult forever.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
It depends on how often we were in touch, but if it feels like things have gone quiet, I move on. You’re not necessarily going to find someone new within a week or two, so I think it’s better to act quickly.
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I’m a male member who goes by Paper Airplane.
If you’ve been seeing someone for more than six months, whether you meet every week or just once or twice a month, there will be times when a week—or, depending on the circumstances, even two or three weeks—passes between meetings.
Rather than being eager to move on to the next person, it’s also important to trust them. I think they’ll sense that feeling from you.
What matters is not just how you feel, but how the other person feels.
You need them, and that’s why you trust them. Unless you truly feel that way, they won’t feel the same about you.
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