Someone I met through a site like this has asked to see me exclusively one-on-one. I don’t really understand it. I feel like I might be able to get a few more offers, so I’m torn. When I’m not getting any offers, it does sound like it would be a big help, but what do you think? Would I eventually be cast aside once he gets tired of me? He hasn’t told me to quit the site, though... I’m not very good at juggling things, so if I kept meeting other people, I think he’d notice.

I’m Aya, a female member. If you’re not good at juggling things, it may be best to avoid it. There’s a risk that papa (a male supporter) will find out, say hurtful things, and leave you feeling upset or uncomfortable. Hopefully, you’ll receive offers from other people… If you really want to focus on him, I think you’ll have to work on becoming better at managing both arrangements. He’s probably married, so he likely has a set routine—he can’t meet on weekends, what time he gets home on weekdays, and so on. You should be fine if you meet other papas during the times you can’t meet him, while making up reasons such as club activities or a part-time job for that time.

I approach every relationship as a one-on-one arrangement and give it my all. When I’m with someone, I genuinely act like I’m his girlfriend or mistress, so I don’t think he notices. It’s less that I’m deceiving him and more that I fully become that person myself. That said, especially with young single men who live alone, if they start assuming you’re always available to contact and meet, that’s a different story. If he’s the possessive type, he’ll probably find out eventually, so you should really think carefully about whether you want to be involved with someone like that. Marika

Maezawa here from the President’s Office. > I don’t understand. Exactly. They’re not going to support you for the rest of your life, and you might even part ways a few months from now. From a woman’s perspective, being involved one-on-one carries quite a lot of risk. Even if you’re unhappy with something, if the man says, “Then let’s break up,” your allowance could suddenly disappear, leaving you with no choice but to put up with it. And that’s exactly what men are counting on. They try to turn things into a one-on-one arrangement because it makes it easier to get you to do things their way. They know that the person paying has the upper hand. But once you understand that this isn’t always the case, you can see multiple men. That way, you can keep men who don’t want to lose you under control. Don’t be the one being controlled—be the one in control. To do that, you need to be in a stronger position than the other person. Being in the stronger position means being able to say, “If you don’t like it, we can end things.” Good luck.

I’m Dai, a male member. There seem to be quite a few men who want a one-on-one relationship. If you’re not good at juggling multiple relationships, why not just date that person? However, you should also keep in mind that although you’re receiving offers now, there’s no guarantee you’ll continue to get offers if that person cuts ties with you.