A college student told me she wanted 50,000 yen just for dinner. When she said that, I was looking at her face and thinking, “Maybe 40,000 yen for an adult relationship (intimate)?”

I’m Aya, a female member. Maybe you simply weren’t the questioner’s type. Everyone has different preferences.

I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist. Honestly, I think “men and women are different” is absolutely true. Women have the power of being desired for their bodies, so their value in the dating market is high. There’s one point about communication that stood out to me as well. When negotiating with a girl, there’s no benefit to trying to persuade her with logic, so don’t do it. During negotiations, it’s better to avoid hurting the other person’s feelings. Even if you manage to logically get her to say, “Okay, 40,000 yen for an adult relationship…,” it’s obvious that her mood will drop and the whole thing will become purely businesslike. You should negotiate on the assumption that once she gets irritated and feels the terms aren’t reasonable, it’s already a no. That way, she’ll be able to consider things more comfortably as well. When my opinion differs from a girl I’ve approached on the street, I first “validate” her position and then continue persuading her. “You want to say around 50,000 yen, right? Considering the age difference between us, I can see why you’d feel that way. Or do you ask for about that much from everyone?” This helps you find out whether she’s asking for a high amount because of you specifically, or whether she asks everyone for the same amount. Once you understand that issue, you can persuade her by presenting 40,000 yen for an adult relationship as the solution. If the reason is you specifically, you can propose it along the lines of: “In exchange, I offer these benefits, so let’s make it 40,000 yen for an adult relationship if we’re going to continue seeing each other long-term.” If she asks everyone for that amount, you can draw her out by asking, “That’s fairly high—was there something that made you decide on that amount?” Then negotiate by saying something like, “I’m different from those other people, so let’s make it 40,000 yen for an adult relationship and continue this for the long term.” I haven’t actually had this conversation with a girl, so this is only an imagined exchange, but that’s generally my approach. As I wrote in my latest column, speaking purely through logic is a bad habit many men have, so we should work on correcting it.

I’m Dai, a male member. What kind of answer were you hoping to hear? Honestly, even as a man, I find the way you’re sizing women up off-putting. If a college student asks for 50,000 yen for dinner and you don’t think she’s worth that, just politely decline and go your separate ways.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here. There’s no point wasting time wondering what the difference was. Some things simply aren’t based on logic. I think whether a woman agrees to an intimate relationship often has nothing to do with reason. Unfortunately, this time, I don’t think you were her type. That woman may have relationships beyond dinner with other men, too. If you’re saying, “There’s no way she would reject me,” then you’re overly confident. On the other hand, if you really were confident, you might have been able to develop an adult relationship by meeting her several times for dinner only, with an allowance of ¥50,000 each time. Though that depends on whether your confidence was justified. The moment you start talking about a woman’s value, I have to wonder, “What are you even talking about?” Think about whether you’d pursue her for ¥50,000. Everyone has different tastes. Sometimes you simply aren’t someone’s type. There’s no point dwelling on it, because it’s an emotional matter. You just weren’t this woman’s type, so I think you’d be better off looking for someone else.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Everyone is free to want whatever they want, so there’s no point in asking that. If you ask a pointless question, you’re only going to get an answer like that.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member who’s once again become his daughter’s chauffeur today. She has me driving her around several times a day, whereas my son is older, yet I can’t even remember ever having to pick him up or drop him off.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. She was simply responding emotionally to the questioner’s deliberately provocative question, so there’s no point in overanalyzing what she said.