The same man keeps offering to meet on weekdays between 12 p.m. and 6 p.m. for a single specified day, asking, “Would you be available anytime between 12 and 6 on this day?” Even after I decline, he makes the same offer again a month later.
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This has happened about four times now.
I’ve explained that I’m working during the day and therefore unavailable, and I’ve suggested other dates or weekday evenings when I could meet. However, he turns those down… and then a month later, he sends me another offer with the exact same terms.
No matter how many times I decline, the same man keeps sending me the same offer, so I don’t know what to do. I feel bad about turning him down repeatedly.
Why would he keep making the same offer over and over, even though he understands my situation? I would like to meet him too, so I’d be happy to meet on a public holiday or on a weekday evening if possible.
This is Nana Ayase☆
I really, really want to meet him.
Please take a paid day off for him.
As Marika said, I think he wants to see you that day, even though he may have a business trip or something…
I’m unemployed at the moment, but I still take paid leave to accept offers.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
> Why do you keep making offers even though you already know?
Maybe you’re hoping to somehow meet on a date you specified? Or perhaps you’re just having a little fun with it（笑）
If they keep contacting you, it may be best to have the club tell the male member, “I’d be happy to meet on a public holiday or on a weekday evening.”
If they still send offers specifying a weekday, you could respond playfully: “I’d like to meet on a different day.”
If one of you eventually gives in and you’re able to meet, that can be fun too（笑）
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I’ve also made another offer with different dates when our schedules didn’t line up.
But in my experience, re-offering to a woman who had already turned me down rarely worked out.
These days, I just think that perhaps I wasn’t meant to meet that particular woman.
If she does want to meet, she should have the club staff clearly tell him, “You’re welcome to make as many offers as you like, but I can only meet on holidays or weekday evenings.”
If he continues making offers for times outside of holidays or weekday evenings, I think she should simply tell the club staff that she can’t accept any more offers from him.
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Even if you somehow manage to make it work for the first meeting, there’s a good chance it won’t continue with that person because of scheduling issues.
I think this pattern is especially common with people who travel for work regularly. So perhaps he can’t suggest any other options, but still wants to find some way to see you.
Marika
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here, answering your question.
The part where you say, “I have work during the day,” may not be getting across clearly. He may think you simply couldn’t go on a date because your schedules happened not to match.
That could be why he’s making another offer, thinking your schedules might work out next time.
Or perhaps he understands that you work on weekdays, but thinks you might happen to have a day off sometime, so he’s making another offer just in case.
So how about replying with something like:
“I’m unable to match schedules on weekdays because of work. Would either Saturday the ○th or Sunday the ○th work for you?”
That should make it clear that it’s difficult for you to arrange something on weekdays. It’s unlikely, but he might even try to work something out for a weekend.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
He may be hoping that you’ll take paid leave or otherwise arrange to have time off.
That said, even if he turns out to be a good person, it would be difficult to continue seeing someone who can only make time at that particular hour.
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