https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/7965
Thank you to everyone who answered. Your comments were truly eye-opening for me. I suppose it may seem obvious once someone points it out.
Because I lack confidence in myself and am having women date me in exchange for an allowance, I had gradually become too susceptible to being asked for things. Looking back, there was also a time when another woman I thought I had a close relationship with asked for a designer item. After I gave it to her, she suddenly stopped responding.
As was mentioned in a recent question, I want to establish my own standards for gifts and learn to deal firmly with women who are especially prone to begging. I also strongly wish I could make the women I’m currently seeing drink a decoction of the grime from the fingernails of the female respondents who answered this question!
I’m Aya, a female member.
Thank you as well. Questioner, it’s possible that your lack of confidence is showing in your attitude. Savvy women pick up on that and may think, “I could ask this guy for things and take advantage of him…”
I once met a papa (a male supporter) a few times who was like that. He told me he had lent money to several women and given them gifts, only for them to stop responding. He seemed to be getting into papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with some unfulfilled need, but I felt his loneliness was showing.
That said, if you try too hard to appear confident and come across as arrogant, women will pull away. It’s a difficult balance. Just do your best without forcing yourself.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I understand that you lack confidence. Everyone has areas they’re insecure about, myself included, and I think that’s part of why we’re all in dating clubs.
The moment you realize a woman is constantly asking for gifts, cut ties and move on to the next one.
That said, you may be choosing women who ask for gifts in the first place, so work on sharpening your judgment!
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I was going to answer, but I think Mack’s response covers everything.
Come to think of it, you don’t hear about it much these days, but there used to be something called “bamboo shoot peeling.” Asking for gifts on top of the allowance is just a rip-off.
Men who enjoy that sort of thing can go along with it if they want, but in the end, it doesn’t seem like either side is likely to be happy.
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