When I’m struggling financially, men who tell me, “You can rely on me” or “I’ll help you” are incredibly reassuring, and I find myself liking them even more than before.
However, as someone mentioned in a recent question, some men try to resolve the situation by giving you several months’ worth of allowance all at once. But isn’t that essentially the same as a monthly arrangement or borrowing against future allowance?
Even if the problem is solved for now, I can’t help thinking that I’ll be in trouble again later if there’s no allowance coming in.
I’m truly grateful for their kindness, but are there really few men who help out separately from the allowance? I’d love to hear about everyone’s experiences so far.
I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer as well.
> Just like a monthly payment or an advance,
If you start thinking of it as a job, you may end up seeing it that way. Even so, it still seems like you’re helping her.
Of course, I assume you understand that already, but—
> Are there really so few men who would help a woman separately from her allowance?
If we reverse the genders in that question, it would become:
“Are there no women who would be okay with H without receiving an allowance?”
I think there are, but probably not many.
That’s because compensated dating is fundamentally based on some form of compensation.
So, putting it back the way it was:
There may be men who help women separately from their allowance, but I imagine they’re about as rare as women who would be okay with H without receiving an allowance.
By the way, are you someone who would be okay with H without receiving an allowance?
Only those prepared to be shot should fire!
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I’ll pay if I feel it’s worth it, but if I don’t think it is, I won’t. Alternatively, I’ll ask for something I want so that the arrangement feels worthwhile.
Ultimately, it all depends on the other person.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
It seems you like men who give you money for free.
That’s what people mean when they say someone is overly money-minded.
In the previous question, what put me off wasn’t the 16-installment repayment plan, but the part about requesting a family registry record and an IOU.
If you’re going that far, I think you might as well lend the money assuming you’ll be giving it to them.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I’d like to offer a slightly different perspective...
> Even if the immediate problem is solved, I can’t help thinking that she’ll be in trouble again later if there’s no allowance.
Maybe she needs to change her lifestyle so she won’t be in trouble even without an allowance—or otherwise find a way to resolve the underlying issue. While the relationship is ongoing is the best opportunity to do that.
> Are there really so few men who would help her separately from the allowance?
Even if you help her this time, the same problem will come up again. Let’s focus on resolving the underlying issue.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Few women would ask someone they truly care about for help separately from their allowance.
But from a man they don’t really care about, they can accept as much as they want on top of the allowance.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
It’s honestly creepy how people encourage the fantasy that “a man who gives women huge amounts of money must be financially comfortable.”
Is there really anyone stupid enough to hand a huge amount of money to a woman they barely know after only a few meetings? Did you do anything to prove that you’re worth that much? It’s ridiculous to assume that huge amounts of money will automatically come your way without making any effort to earn them.
“Rely on me” and “I’ll help you” aren’t lies. As someone mentioned in another question, offering ¥800,000 in exchange for 16 meetings is a pretty generous offer, isn’t it? Why should he have to commit to meeting someone 16 more times after only seeing her a few times? There are plenty of wonderful new women registering with the dating club every day.
Even in professional baseball, a multi-year contract is considered a big deal. You’d be happy to be offered a permanent position, wouldn’t you? Unless a woman understands the value of things like that, she probably won’t be able to handle the fine balance involved in negotiations. I don’t think you’ll ever hit the jackpot by just repeating the same blunt, one-sided approach.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
If you offer a man something beyond an allowance-based relationship, he’ll naturally offer you something beyond the allowance in return.
When there’s something you want, you need to make the right effort to obtain it. Simply wishing for it won’t make it happen. God is watching, but He won’t do anything for people who make no effort.
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I’m Aya, a female member who tends to be up late.
Among the men I’ve met, a few said they’d been asked to lend women money, and they understandably regretted it after realizing they’d been deceived.
The most common excuses seem to be tuition fees or a parent’s illness. As long as there are women who behave badly, it’s inevitable that more men will become wary…
That said, most papas want to date younger women as affordably as possible without being deceived. So I feel that only a few percent of them would readily hand over hundreds of thousands of yen to a woman they’d only been seeing for a few dates—or even for about a year.
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