I want a college-aged boyfriend, but my style and appearance give off such a strong papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) vibe—apparently the kind older men like—that I don’t get approached much by guys my age. Before I started papa-katsu, I had brown hair, but now it’s black. I like dressy clothes, and I always carry a parasol and wear gloves to protect myself from the sun. I always look like I could go to a French restaurant at any moment without feeling out of place.
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Papa (a male supporter) really like my look and often tell me I’m like a doll or that I’m incredibly cute. But I stand out at college because no one dresses like this there. A little while ago, I had a college boyfriend my age, but he told me, “You’re cute, but you have this distinctive vibe that makes you look like you do papa-katsu. You’re a little intimidating to approach.” Men in their seventies even approach me on the street and ask if I’d like to have tea. I’ve received around 20 offers through a club, but only one was from someone in his thirties; most were from men in their fifties to seventies.
I’m assuming that younger guys prefer girls with a more casual, fresh vibe, but is that actually true? Do men’s preferences for women’s overall vibe and clothing change depending on their age?
I’m Shingo Lee, a column writer.
Before COVID, I conducted street surveys about fashion in places like Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ginza, and Omotesando. This time, I’ll be writing about university students’ fashion.
First, once your outfit is put together properly, the next important thing is “TPO.”
People often say that these three factors matter:
Time (the timing or season)
Place (the setting)
Occasion (the purpose)
More recently, Person (who you’re with) has been added, making TPPO important.
You could say that the person asking this question isn’t taking the “Person” factor into account.
When conducting surveys with women about men’s fashion, you can usually get a sense of what kind of men’s fashion they like just from the respondents’ own appearances.
Most women vote for styles that are similar to what they themselves wear. In other words, if you dress in a way that resembles the style of someone you want to get closer to, you’re more likely to be liked than if you wear something from a completely different fashion category.
I imagine the same would be true with the genders reversed.
To be honest, I think the person asking this question stands out visually at university. (I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing.)
However, if you want to be popular with people your own age, I think it would be better to keep your papa-katsu outfits separate from your private clothes.
I also change the brands, items, and overall fit I wear depending on whether I’m dating a girl, working, or hanging out with male friends.
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Universe Club
Aizawa from Customer Success here.
As everyone has mentioned, preferences can vary quite a bit depending on age. Many people, especially from older generations, may not appreciate the fashion trends popular among younger people, while outfits that appeal to older men might seem unfashionable to younger women.
From your question, it sounds like you may be dressing specifically for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Why not dress differently for papa-katsu and in your everyday life?
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Asking here about the preferences of male college students, of all things? Haha.
Still, isn’t what you’ve sensed for yourself probably pretty accurate?
But what do you wear to university, exactly? Couldn’t you just change clothes before the date? If you live far away, you could always use a coin locker or something.
If you can research what kind of outfits appeal to older men, you should be able to figure out what’s popular with guys your own age too, right? If the clothes you like are already the kind older men tend to like, I’d just keep wearing what I like.
Marika
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I think liking people around your own age comes across as approachable, so if you like college-aged guys, you’ll probably have to lean into that style.
That said, I also have a boyfriend in his 20s—not a college student—and he likes more mature outfits. He’s happy when I wear fitted dresses or clothes that look like they belong in Oggi, with a sort of career-woman（） vibe. Since there are a lot of casually dressed girls at college, guys may simply assume that’s what they like. But if they met a woman with a mature style and an approachable personality, I think they’d naturally be attracted to her. So rather than frilly, pure-white outfits or mass-produced-style dresses, why not try a slightly more office-lady look that would also work for a young professional?
If your goal and the means of achieving it are clear, and you understand that yourself, all that’s left is to put it into practice.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
They say fashion trends come back around, and people’s tastes change with each generation.
Still, if it’s true that a woman was asked out for tea by a man in his seventies, that grandfather sure is energetic!
I hope I’m just as lively at that age.
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I’ll answer this as Maezawa from the president’s office.
> Do women’s overall vibe and clothing preferences change depending on their age group?
I think they do.
> I assume younger men probably prefer women with a more casual, fresh feel, but that may just be my personal impression.
Ultimately, I think it varies by generation, and even among people in the same generation, everyone has different tastes.
You might be able to get a sense of the trends by looking at university beauty pageants.
For example, checking out events like Campus Girls’ Festival, where contestants from various universities gather, might give you a feel for the trends.
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This is Nana Ayase ♡
Don’t you think your outfit looks a little too old-fashioned?
If you’re a college student, try dressing a bit younger. Even I wouldn’t wear anything that strange.
Save the more mature clothes for when you’re actually older.
Even just tight black jeans and a T-shirt would look cute on you because you’re young, don’t you think?
That’s basically what I wear casually too. When I play golf, I wear a miniskirt that comes to about mid-thigh, and I end up showing my shorts a lot whenever I bend down to pick up the ball（笑）
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Of course, a woman’s overall vibe varies depending on her age and background. There’s a certain look that feels like a college student, and another that feels like a working professional.
I don’t know what men in each age group prefer when it comes to clothing, but I think dressing in a way that doesn’t look out of place at college tends to appeal to guys around the same age.
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