I’ve fallen for the single papa (a male supporter) I’ve been seeing for about a year, and I’ve started wanting to date him rather than continue papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
I still get nervous every time we meet, and I find myself thinking about him when we’re apart.
I feel like my papa is just enjoying papa-katsu as a bit of fun, so I thought about finding another man my own age to keep myself from taking things too seriously. I even went out with someone, but I kept comparing him to my papa and ended up liking my papa even more...
Lately, it’s been getting painful to keep seeing him as a transactional relationship, but I’d be sad to say goodbye too, so I don’t have the courage to tell him how I feel.
What would you do if you could no longer keep your feelings separate?
Universe Club staff member Akai here with an answer as well.
It’s quite rare for simply falling for someone to mean that you’re perfectly compatible on every level.
What our club provides is the opportunity to meet, and anything that happens afterward is left to the individuals involved.
So when it comes to entering a relationship, I think it’s important that the gentleman’s intentions and both parties’ feelings are aligned.
If you suddenly ask to start dating, he may feel confused, so it might be best to gradually gauge his intentions first, then share how your own feelings are changing.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
From a man’s perspective, even if you can’t emotionally detach yourself, you still have to keep things transactional…
Personally, even if a woman opened up to me about her feelings, I don’t think I could pursue a relationship with her. We could probably be friends at most.
Whether it works out seems to depend on the man’s attitude toward dating.
I imagine it would be difficult with a man who keeps a clear boundary between this and his private life…
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
You probably can’t suddenly become lovers from your current relationship, right? If you’re looking for a serious relationship, shouldn’t you start out as friends? Going back to a no-intimacy relationship can help you bring out different sides of him, and if you want intimacy, then pursue a serious relationship. It’s straightforward and I recommend it.
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I’m Nana Ayase ♡
After a year, you’re bound to develop feelings.
Have him stop giving you an allowance. Your papa will probably be happy too, since he’ll be able to have an adult relationship without paying an allowance.
Of course, that includes transportation costs and any allowance for an adult relationship. You can simply say, “I’ll cover this one.” If you really like him, you should be able to do that.
People your own age generally don’t go out of their way for you or give you money, right? That’s perfectly normal.
You’ve gotten too used to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
It’s been almost a year, and things may be about to change, so you should probably look for about three other supporters as well. If he suddenly disappears, the shock will be huge.
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