If a friend found out I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) after saying, “You’re doing papa-katsu, aren’t you?” is it already difficult to regain their trust?
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Apparently, they’d seen me with men several times. The locations were obvious, and they also knew it wasn’t just one older man. I told them they were relatives, but apparently the vibe was different, so I couldn’t pass it off.
I feel like my friends look down on me and are keeping their distance completely.
I understand that, from a woman’s perspective, papa-katsu can be off-putting. Is it really impossible for me to stay close with my friends from outside this world anymore?
The college student the other day said something similar, didn’t she?
Well, in a way, I’m actually relieved as an older woman that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) still isn’t considered “normal” by society.
If you entered into papa-katsu knowing that, from a woman’s perspective, it’s something people look down on, then you were being far too careless.
It’s one thing that the person who saw you was a friend. What would you have said if it had been your papa’s wife? Even a female college student could end up facing a claim for compensation, having her parents told, or something along those lines.
The fact that papa-katsu has become more casual is both good and bad. Cases like yours are a bad example of how an ordinary girl without the necessary “resolve” can end up regretting something she did for a small amount of money.
Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can advise you on at this point. But I hope the other young women reading this will understand and take it seriously.
When I say “resolve,” I don’t mean opening yourself up physically to an older man. I mean being prepared for all the various consequences that can come with it.
Marika
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I wonder why your friend happened to see you so many times…? That part is rather puzzling. Maybe they were in the same situation themselves… (lol)
Anyway, everyone has their own path—just focus on yourself! Let’s take this as a good lesson.
You can always find different friends.
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You should have been prepared for the possibility of something like this happening before getting involved.
Since you made the decision yourself, there’s no question of rebuilding trust or anything like that.
This is what happens when you jump into things too casually.
Akari
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I find it strange to think about “rebuilding trust” when you haven’t caused those people any harm or disadvantage.
As Mac said, anyone who would let something like that damage the friendship wasn’t really a friend to begin with. They weren’t friends—they were just acquaintances you happened to talk to often.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Are you the person who asked a question before?
You say you feel that people look down on you and keep their distance, but weren’t you prepared for the possibility that this might happen?
If that’s how you feel, then it’ll be difficult to continue being close with your so-called “regular friends.”
Though it does make me wonder what you mean by “regular friends” in the first place…
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I’m Ayase Nana ♡
It feels like something similar came up the other day too.
Maybe your friend is just being jealous?
Cut them off.
You can still make new friends.
Let’s find better friends.
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