She’s an office worker who’s almost 30, and one day she showed up for our meeting carrying a large paper bag from an electronics store. She said, “I finished work early and had time to kill before meeting you, so I ended up buying some electronics.” Later, after we had finished our intimate time at the hotel, I happened to catch a glimpse of what was inside the bag while she was taking a shower. It was a small toy for a young boy...
She told me she was single and an only child, so I don’t think she bought it for a cousin. A few days later, I emailed her: “I wasn’t trying to look, but I happened to see what was inside. Do you possibly have a child?” She said, “That was for resale. Recently, it’s become popular to buy toys and games and resell them at auction.” But I can’t imagine a woman who does papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) going through all that trouble for a profit of just a few thousand yen...
How likely is it that she’s a single mother—or perhaps actually married?
I don’t mind if she’s a single mother, but I don’t see married women, so I wish there were some way to confirm it...
Are there quite a few women who hide the fact that they’re married or have children when registering with a dating club?
Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here as well.
> Since I don’t accept married people
First, I think it would help to remind yourself why you made that rule in the first place.
If it was to avoid trouble or because you’d be worried about being sued for compensation, then since they’re saying they’re unmarried, even if you were sued, you could argue that you genuinely believed they were single. That would likely make it more difficult for them to claim compensation from you.
Of course, the most reliable option is to ask for a certificate of singleness. But even without going that far, having evidence that they said they were single should put you in a much stronger position.
> I wish there were some way to verify it...
First, show them your own certificate of singleness, then ask whether they’re truly single. If they say they are, ask them to provide their certificate of singleness.
I think that’s all you need to do.
As a basic rule, start by showing them your own certificate of singleness. This also helps them understand how much time and effort it takes. If they’re considerate enough to appreciate the inconvenience, they may even be willing to give you a few tens of thousands of yen in addition to your allowance.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I think it’s best to ask her directly whether she’s married.
Even if you ask the club, they’ll probably just tell you they wouldn’t know unless she disclosed it.
More than that, though, I’m uncomfortable with the fact that you can say, without any hesitation, “I resell things…”
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I’m Taro, a male club member.
The club verifies your identity during the interview, but everything else is based on self-reporting, so you’ll encounter all sorts of situations. I’ve actually met someone who turned out to have children.
I think it’s best to ask her directly. If your standard is “single mothers are okay, but married women are not,” then be upfront about that and discuss it clearly. Making assumptions or secretly investigating her will only complicate things.
That said, be considerate in how you bring it up so you don’t hurt her feelings. It’s unavoidable if your terms don’t align, but the more disappointing the conversation, the more tactfully you should handle it. In my experience, being almost overly considerate is about the right balance.
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