I’d like to record an intimate encounter with a woman on my phone, but whenever I say something like, “I’d love to try recording it,” she just brushes it off. What do you all say when you negotiate this?

I’m Ayase Nana. What? A video? Is this a crime? Why would you think it’s okay to record someone? You seriously have no common sense. Even if she agreed, it would be safer not to do it. If you want to record a video, pay 1 million yen. Why don’t you think this is a crime? …It’s baffling.

I’m Shingo Lee, a columnist. My phone is always running out of storage, but I’ve never pressured anyone or taken photos secretly. This is already an issue that can easily lead to conflict, so if you haven’t built enough trust for her to do more than simply brush you off when you say, “I’d like to take some photos,” I don’t think you should even ask. Therefore, I recommend that you either give up or look for someone else. That said, since you’re here, I’ll share a few “not-so-great techniques.” I’ll save the “really useful techniques” for another time. ① Let her take photos of you first Start by taking the risk yourself and letting her photograph you first. This appeals to people’s sense of reciprocity. The idea is to make her think, “Since he let me take photos of him, it’s only fair that he gets to be photographed too.” ② Use her phone to take the photos Many people are willing to take photos if they’re using a phone they can control. Take the photos with her phone, then have her send them to you later via LINE or another messaging app.

I’m Dai, a male member. If she ignores you when you say you’d like to take a picture, that means she doesn’t want to. You should be able to understand something that simple. If you ask enough different women, you may eventually find someone who says yes.

I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this too. Why do you want to record it? If a woman asked to film you naked with her phone while making sure she wasn’t captured in the footage, would you agree? What if she said she wanted to record your entire conversation during the date? Normally, if you don’t trust the other person, you should decline. You never know where the footage might end up, and once it’s been circulated online, it’s impossible to stop. If I can’t understand why you want to record it in the first place, I’d be too scared to say yes. If you’re not good at building that kind of trust, you might have a better chance by offering an extra ¥100,000 on top of the allowance, explaining that you won’t film her face or let the footage leak, and identifying yourself by giving your real name, company name, and so on—so she knows she could take legal action if anything happened. People who say, “You don’t need to offer that much to get permission,” are probably just good at building trust. That said, if you’re bad at it, I think you’d still be refused even if you offered ¥100,000. Also, secretly recording someone just because they won’t agree will result in immediate expulsion from the club. If a woman thinks she’s been secretly filmed, she should photograph the phone or hidden recording device. It’s best to take both videos and still photos. The club can’t take action without that kind of evidence. Evidence is important. With sufficient evidence, the person can be expelled immediately, and it should also make various legal responses easier. Ideally, she would bring the hidden recording device itself back, but that isn’t possible with a smartphone, so make sure to properly document the evidence that the recording was done with that phone.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Just like the person asking the question, I ask if I can take photos. However, I think the timing and the way you bring it up are important. Of course, some women agree, while others say they’d rather not. If a woman ignores the request and makes it clear she’s not interested, I think it’s best not to push the matter.