I’ve seen several answers saying that “I don’t need an allowance” can win someone’s heart.
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Has anyone found that saying “I don’t need an allowance” had the opposite effect?
I want to tell someone I love that my feelings are genuine, but I’m wondering whether it might come across negatively to a man who prefers a transactional relationship. I’m hesitating about what to do.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
It’s not the words “I don’t need an allowance” themselves that win someone’s heart. I think it’s the sense of fairness behind them, and the fact that she isn’t overly focused on the allowance, that really makes an impression.
I wouldn’t say I’m in a transactional relationship, but being told outright that no allowance is needed does make me pull back a little. Our current relationship is built around the allowance, so removing it could change the nature of what we have.
I think “I don’t need an allowance” only really touches a man’s heart when it’s accompanied by a reason and phrased as “I don’t need one this time.” That’s enough to show that her feelings are genuine. However, saying it out of the blue would only leave him confused, so it’s better to do it when there’s a reason—such as his birthday, an anniversary the two of you share, or after he’s done you a favor.
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I’m a male member, and my username is Paper Airplane.
I think it’s a good thing when your feelings come across.
I do think it can be effective occasionally, rather than all the time.
When you’re accommodating a woman’s errands, consultations, or schedule, or when the time is short, and you feel that you shouldn’t accept an allowance—or that you can’t accept one—it’s probably best to say so. When that kind of sentiment comes across as well, both people—and especially men—feel even more motivated to do something for the other person, which can help the relationship continue.
I also think it can set you apart from other women by a wide margin.
Ultimately, it depends on whether you want to maintain a close, one-on-one relationship for as long as possible, or whether you want to date as many papas as possible.
That’s what I think you should base your decision on.
Men who prefer the former will likely appreciate it, and it can be effective.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
Rather than someone who says, “I don’t need an allowance,” I find it easier to date someone who genuinely engages with me and is comfortable with a reasonable allowance.
I’m perfectly fine with paying an allowance（笑).
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Sorry. In my case, I’m someone who genuinely doesn’t need an allowance, so our goals may be different. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.
Please refer to this column: ↓
https://universe-club.jp/female/7223/
It’s not that I don’t want any allowance at all. Rather, the idea is that saying “I don’t need anything” when it comes to a small token of appreciation can actually be effective.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office will answer as well.
Previously, I believe Mr. Saito said in an answer that if a woman says she doesn’t need an allowance, he would cut ties with her. In other words, he wouldn’t see her again.
Does that mean the allowance helps maintain an appropriate distance?
> I’m wondering whether this might have a negative effect on men who prefer a transactional relationship.
Some men may react negatively, so I think it’s better to be careful.
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