How should I apologize when my papa (a male supporter) is angry with me, but I don’t understand why (he’s upset about something I wouldn’t have thought of)?
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We’ve been seeing each other for a year now, and we’ve had a few arguments before, but this time I genuinely don’t understand the reason.
He told me I could see multiple people as long as I told him in advance, so I let him know beforehand what day I would be meeting someone. But when I reported back afterward, he got angry and said I hadn’t communicated enough.
I thought maybe I was at fault for not giving him updates before and during the meeting, so I apologized, but he told me I still didn’t understand.
I’m starting to lose sight of whether I was being inconsiderate or what exactly I did wrong.
I’d really appreciate some advice on how I should apologize.
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Once you’ve apologized by saying, “I’m sorry,” the ball is in their court. There’s nothing more for you to say.
Just keep repeating, “I’m sorry…” and wait for them to soften their attitude.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office will answer this as well.
I can’t fully understand the finer nuances unless you tell me exactly what the man said, word for word.
If what he meant was not simply that you should report it, but that you needed to meet someone else only after he had given you permission, then I can’t help but think he was upset because you met someone without his permission.
In other words, if you said you were going to meet another man, there must have been a reason. If he felt he could resolve that reason, he may have intended to do something about it—for example:
If you were meeting another man because your allowance wasn’t enough, he may have been planning to discuss increasing it.
Or, if you said you wanted to meet a younger man, he may have thought there was nothing he could do about that, and since the other man wasn’t really a rival, he might have been willing to approve it.
That may have been what he had in mind.
However, your post alone doesn’t make that clear.
If you don’t know the reason, it seems your options are either to apologize as things stand or to ask him directly what bothered him.
But if you two are close enough to argue, I think it would be worth asking him properly why he felt that way.
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I’m Ayase Nana ♡
So he got upset with you.
He’s probably just jealous—must be nice.
You’ve been seeing him for a year, right?
Do you still want to continue seeing this man?
Ask yourself what your heart really wants.
He gets upset if you tell him,
and he gets upset if you don’t—what are you supposed to do?
If you’re starting to find it more trouble than it’s worth, look for someone else.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I’ve had similar experiences, too.
When that happens, I think all you can do is apologize sincerely and humbly. Once they’ve calmed down during the apology, they’ll usually tell you how they really feel. Listen to that, then figure out how to avoid upsetting them again in the future.
Treat them like a customer calling a call center and respond earnestly. If it’s absolutely impossible, just cut ties.
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I’m date◎yume, a male member.
Interesting question（笑）
There are several possibilities, but I’ll leave the most interesting part to Mac’s answer.
Maybe you wanted to know what the men you met were like—and how they compared to me?
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