Ever since I was little, I’ve been very bad at asking people for things or letting myself rely on them, so I’ve handled almost everything on my own.
Lately, though, I’ve started wondering whether people who know how to rely on others are more attractive—including in romantic relationships—than people who insist on doing everything themselves. In fact, no one has ever praised me by saying something like, “You’re amazing, you can do everything by yourself!”
So logically, I understand that I should let myself rely on others more. But when it comes to actually doing it, I just can’t.
Even in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I can’t bring myself to rely on the men I meet, and I feel like I put up quite a wall. Everyone seems to build deep relationships with their partners, and it’s starting to feel like something from a completely different world than mine.
That said, I don’t want to go beyond being good at relying on someone and become self-centered. Finding the right balance is difficult.
What kinds of ways do men enjoy having women rely on them?
Conversely, what kinds of requests make you think, “This is annoying”?
I’d also appreciate any advice from women.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, answering as well.
I get the feeling that you have the makings of a tsundere.
Even if you want to act affectionate, you don’t have to do it all the time.
Leave that to the other women, and I think you could aim for a tsundere style instead.
Be prickly most of the time, then suddenly turn sweet at unexpected moments.
That alone may make him wonder, “What’s this woman all about?” and pique his interest.
Once he becomes interested, I think the walls between you will naturally come down.
As for how to act affectionate specifically, it will depend on the situation, so it’s difficult to say.
But if you think in terms of affection plus a little seduction, you could hug him in bed, hold his hand, or simply initiate plenty of physical contact.
That might give him the impression that you’re being affectionate toward him.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
There really aren’t that many women who are genuinely bad at relying on others. Even women who seem very put-together will often let their guard down only with someone who makes them feel comfortable being pampered.
People say I’m serious and dependable at work, but my papa (a male supporter) tells me, “You’re actually such a needy one.”
Maybe it’s because I deliberately act a little yandere-ish, saying things like, “I miss you so much it’s driving me crazy.” But I genuinely mean it, so it’s how I really feel. I think both my dependable work persona and the side of me that leans on my papa are parts of my personality brought out by the person I’m with.
So I think you’ll change too once you meet a man who makes you feel comfortable relying on him.
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I can do pretty much everything myself, but I let myself be spoiled sometimes too.
Being spoiled doesn’t only mean having someone do things for you.
I think you should take care of yourself, while also aiming to be a woman who shows a little dependence—or at least some charm—through her gestures and expressions.
That’s the kind of woman I am.
Marika
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I find independent women more attractive.
If someone is over twenty and still gets told, “You’re amazing for being able to do everything yourself, ○○-chan!” I’d consider that a red flag.
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