I had a simple question for those of you with more experience, so I decided to post.
Which do you think is more difficult:
being continuously loved by someone you met through a dating club,
or
continuing to love someone you met through a dating club?
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
It’s only natural that getting someone you met through a dating club to keep liking you is far more difficult.
Choosing to like someone else is entirely within your control, so it’s incredibly easy. But getting someone else to like you is a matter of their own free will. Since you can’t control another person’s feelings, it’s incredibly difficult.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
In my experience, both seem to be about equally difficult.
Generally speaking, regardless of gender, I think people with more options have a harder time continuing to love the same person. When you have plenty of choices, it’s easy to get distracted by someone else—even when you already have someone important to you…
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer as well.
Whichever one is more difficult, so what?
That’s how I feel.
Is it really enjoyable to date someone while worrying about things like that?
Right now, you like the other person.
I feel like that should be enough.
Thinking about them even after the relationship has ended just seems like you’re still hung up on them.
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I’m Hikouki, a male member.
Both are easy—the same thing applies to both at the same time.
If you think they’re difficult, then they’ll be impossible. It’s the same with romance.
To answer more directly:
Unless you continue liking them, you can’t make the effort to keep them liking you.
No, that’s not quite right.
Unless you continue falling more and more in love with them, you can’t make the effort to keep them liking you.
It depends on whether you’re the type who keeps feeding the fish after catching it, or the type whose attention wanders to someone else.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Rather than one being more difficult than the other, I feel like neither really exists in the first place.
Isn’t the only thing we ever truly have the present moment?
In particular, I’m incapable of taking women’s feelings as fixed.
I’ve been told things like “I love you” and “Marry me,” only to hear a little while later, “I have a new boyfriend now.” I’m always shocked—Wait, that was fast!?
I feel like women can move on to the next person even when they haven’t fully switched their feelings over yet.
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Both are difficult.
For an arrangement to last, I think everything has to work reasonably well: enjoying the conversation, having similar tastes in food, being able to coordinate schedules easily, physical compatibility, and the allowance.
Also, as with relationships that aren’t papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it helps when both people have roughly the same level of affection for each other.
Whether it’s genuine love or a transactional relationship, I think it can continue smoothly as long as both people are on the same page emotionally.
That said, lasting a long time and continuing to have feelings for someone may be two different things. But since this is a dating club, that’s why I gave the answer above.
Marika
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