I’m Taro, a male member.
If you go soft, it’s a state of emergency, so don’t panic or make a fuss—do everything you can to avoid a crisis. If you prefer legs to breasts, just say so. There’s nothing rude about it. If the goal is to prevent things from going soft, anything goes.
If you can manage with toys, then use toys. There’s nothing wrong with slipping in a vibrating egg during dinner. Men have Viagra-type meds, and there are also creams sold online that supposedly get women worked up. At the very least, even if you aren’t feeling it, if the guy gets hard and manages to penetrate you, that’s one step forward. You’ve graduated from the “went-soft” club, right?
The important thing is to establish a reliable pattern for intimacy. Once you find one, it’s perfectly fine to stick with it. That way, you’re both happy. After all, everything else must be perfectly satisfactory—that’s why you keep meeting even after things go soft. Then, once you’re more settled, you can gradually try some new patterns. Take it one step at a time and keep moving forward.
Don’t give up, members of the “went-soft” club!
I’m Hikouki, a male member.
Even when two women are equally beautiful, with lovely faces, slim waists, and fantastic figures, one may be able to help me finish whenever I want, while the other always leaves me unable to stay hard.
Unfortunately, that’s just something you can’t control.
I wouldn’t end things solely because of that. However, if it overlaps with other factors, it can become an additional reason to break things off.
And even if a woman asks for honest feedback, it’s difficult to tell her the truth. In the first place, it isn’t caused by just one thing, so it’s not something I can accurately explain as “this is the reason.” Various factors are intertwined, and even men may not be able to overcome it despite trying different things.
So I don’t think you need to worry about it too much. If the woman makes an effort, that can itself create pressure and, more than anything, make things feel even less natural.
I think simply enjoying the time you spend together can be fulfilling enough.
> I prefer legs, so I’m not sure whether it’s okay to tell him that’s what I want…
Do you mean that you get more aroused through your legs?
In other words, do you gradually become more sensitive through things like stimulation on the inner thighs?
Of course, I think you should tell him. It may help with your own sensitivity and ability to finish, but if the experience feels more like receiving or giving a sensual massage than having sex, and lacks a sexual feeling, it may not immediately help him stay hard.
Even so, I think it’s important to keep working together little by little so that you can respond, feel more, and eventually finish.
Someday, you may come to understand at what point accepting him allows him to finish as well.
