I’m Column Writer Flag Maker.
As a general rule, I consider a two-hour dinner date to be ①.
For the first meeting, although it’s technically called transportation money, if she’s a Type B, I usually just give her the transportation money ① and part ways after two hours.
If a dinner-only date continues to a second venue, I’ll often give her ②.
That said, I’ve only had a handful of dinner-only dates where an allowance was involved in the first place.
Maezawa from the President’s Office here as well.
> If necessary, inviting someone in type B to continue seeing you from the very first meeting would be a breach of etiquette.
Inviting her to an adult relationship from the first meeting would be considered bad manners, but it’s acceptable to pay an allowance to have her accompany you to an aquarium or go out for drinks.
That’s why we ask women in type B to keep about four hours available.
Also, while it’s considered bad manners for the man to invite the woman to an adult relationship, it isn’t considered bad manners for the woman to make the invitation.
Some women would actually prefer type C but choose type B because they feel it would be difficult to turn someone down if they selected C. In those cases, the woman may invite the man herself.
Even then, I think the polite approach would be to first give her the club’s standard ¥5,000–¥10,000, and toward the end of the meal say something like, “I’d like to go out for drinks afterward. Would an allowance of ¥10,000 per hour work for you? It would be for about two hours,” while also specifying the amount of time.
The allowance amount is just an example, so men are free to negotiate whatever amount they feel is appropriate.
Also, if sending the woman home after dinner only on the first meeting would increase the chances of things going well on the second meeting, it may be better to simply end the evening there.
It depends on the man’s personality and approach.
Likewise, some men give women ¥20,000 or ¥30,000 for dinner only on the first meeting in order to improve their chances of success from the second meeting onward.
There’s no violation of the rules if the man voluntarily offers that amount.
> In cases involving an adult relationship, I give her the allowance as soon as we enter the room.
Even when an adult relationship is involved, you generally can’t know that’s how things will go when you first start the meal.
That’s why Universe Club gives women ¥5,000–¥10,000 upfront even with relationship types C or D.
After that, the two of you negotiate the allowance for the adult relationship. If you both agree, the adult allowance can then be given after entering the room.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
This is just how I personally do things, but I handle B-type arrangements the same way as C- or D-type arrangements.
I consider the transportation allowance to cover roughly two hours of dining during the first meeting. So unless I take her somewhere else afterward or we move on to an adult relationship (intimate), I don’t offer any additional allowance.
With a B-type arrangement, things don’t necessarily progress to an adult relationship on the second date, so I ask what allowance she would like for tea or dinner dates from the second date onward.
If she brings up the subject of an adult relationship while we’re dining, I also ask what allowance she would like if things do progress that way.
I imagine that wanting to continue talking after dinner would usually come up toward the end of the roughly two-hour meal. In that case, I would ask about her availability, what she’d like to do after dinner, and her desired allowance, then decide how to proceed after the meal. So if I were to give an allowance for what happens after the roughly two-hour meal, I would give it afterward.
