We practically live together, we’re close, and I’m devoted to him.
How many years would we need to be together before asking him to marry me wouldn’t feel like too much pressure?
We’re both single.
There’s a big age gap between us, but not much of a difference in our emotional maturity.
Have any of you ever been asked this—or asked someone yourselves?
Would it be better not to say anything and just keep things as they are?
I want to cherish him for the rest of my life, but I’m starting to hate that these feelings remain in such an in-between state without taking any concrete form.
Maezawa from the president’s office will answer this one too.
> How many years into a relationship can you bring up marriage without it feeling like too much pressure?
For a man who isn’t considering marriage, it’ll feel like pressure no matter how many years have passed. So I think it depends on which type he is.
That said, I feel that the longer you live together, the less likely you are to want to get married. You might as well take a chance at this point.
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I’ve had two men I met through the club propose marriage to me.
A man in his 40s and a woman in her 20s might be one thing, but if you add another 20 years and we’re both older, getting married now is probably out of the question…
With one of them, things didn’t work out and we parted ways. The other one turned it into a joke, and we’re still seeing each other.
He’s practically perfect on paper, so I do find myself wavering… I could quit my job and become a housewife (wink).
Like Kazu, I think you should first find out why a man is using a dating club instead of getting married.
For all you know, he may actually be divorced and have three children living with his ex-wife.
Please think it over calmly, rather than letting your feelings take over!
Marika
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I’m in Seattle.
If your papa’s assets are currently ¥500 million and grow to ¥1 billion by the time you eventually divorce, you could get ¥250 million. Do your best to win him over.
I was taken for ¥100 million myself. Because of that, I don’t want to get married again. I’ve already turned down four men.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
If a papa is single and involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I assume he has his reasons for avoiding marriage. Personally, I think marriage is an institution for having children, and otherwise it only creates complications.
Before asking him to marry you, I think you should first find out why he has remained single. Once you understand that, you can decide how best to bring up the subject.
Personally, I’m surprised you hadn’t discussed your views on marriage before practically moving in together.
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I’m a column writer and a bit of a flag-maker.
I’ve had two women I met this way ask me to marry them!! Osu!
I’m already married, so that’s not possible, but if I were single, wouldn’t that be fine? Honestly, I probably would’ve married her on the spot.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Of course, it’s possible to get married no matter where you meet someone.
That said, just as with meeting someone through the adult entertainment industry, you need to understand that the basic likelihood is essentially zero percent.
Even then, whether it’s through adult entertainment or a dating club, there is still a possibility—but the man would have to be completely head over heels for her.
It seems the man you’re seeing is already very much in love with you, but it’s hard to say whether he’s truly, overwhelmingly serious. If he were, it wouldn’t be surprising if the two of you had already confessed your feelings and become mutually committed.
Even so, I think you can still try to find out what he really wants and confirm his feelings.
Also, living together can be fun, but it lowers the marriage rate. Even I have never gotten married or engaged to anyone I lived with—although her parents probably wanted us to get married.
And these days, my recommendation would be a shotgun wedding—a pregnancy marriage. Of course, only if both of you are fully on board.
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