I’m a male member. Since I value the feeling of romance, I usually keep first dates wholesome, limited to a meal and a walk. However, when I really like someone, I start wanting to hold hands. The women accept it, perhaps because of their position, but I’m a little worried that they may actually dislike being asked to hold hands so suddenly on a first meeting. What do female members think about being asked to hold hands on a first date by a Type B or C female member? I’d especially appreciate answers from female members and staff, though I’d also like to hear everyone else’s opinions. Thank you.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here. Thanks for your question. No matter how casual papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) has become, I think plenty of people would still find it unusual to see a man and woman with a significant age gap holding hands. With that in mind, if you’ve only just met, you’ll naturally be conscious of other people watching. I think it would be better to ask her after you’ve gone on several dates and feel that you’ve become fairly close.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. I don’t hold hands either. Many women are conscious of how others around them see them, so holding hands is out of the question. When we’re walking outside, I try not to stay too close. That’s why it makes me happy when a woman reaches for my hand first.

I’m Aya, a female member. I understand how you feel when you’re sitting across from someone you’re attracted to. But it would probably be best not to hold her hand. How would you feel if, after having a meal with an elderly woman around your parents’ age who gave you 10,000 yen, she held your hand while you were out walking? Hands can get sweaty, and they’re a part of the body where you can feel someone’s warmth, so women often find it more uncomfortable than you might expect. Of course, it depends on the person, but I think women who are more refined, inexperienced with dating, and not jaded by it are likely to feel especially uncomfortable. Even if you have no intention of taking things to a hotel, it can come across as a kind of sexual-harassment mindset—“I can’t control my overwhelming desire, so I just want to touch her hand at least!”—which can be a real turnoff. In any case, holding hands can feel surprisingly intimate and visceral, so I think it would be better to avoid it.

I’m a Type C. I’m fine with going to a hotel on the first date, but I don’t like holding hands while taking a walk. And when you suggest holding hands, are you supposed to ask, “Can I hold your hand?” It’s hard to say, “I’d rather not…” Marika